Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - An Alternative Ending, Continued
by constantlimerence
Summary: An alternative and developing ending for Rey and Ben. How he might have lived, and how their relationship may have developed. It does get quite intimate, hence the precautionary M, but coarse language is very minimal. I'm new to this and constantly writing more, so feedback is always welcome. Hope you enjoy! I don't own Star Wars.
1. Chapter 1: Leaving Exogol

Rey shuffled through her options. The only choice she had, true to herself and everything she stood for, was to take herself, and the Sith with her. She might finally be united with her parents, become entirely one with the force— become a part of nature itself and enclose her friends in safety through the rest of their journeys. By sacrificing herself she could restore peace to a galaxy long torn apart by hatred. And what would life hold for her now? Jakku, her only real home, had lost all purpose. Leia had joined Luke. So had Ben.  
Then she heard them, the voices.

Kylo's eyes were squeezed shut with the pain in his arms. He couldn't hang there for much longer. His mind grappled with the force but it was difficult, especially in this weakened state, to focus on himself while he could still feel the effects of Palpatine's invasive probing of his mind, and sense what was still happening to Rey. That was inspiration enough. He lifted, half with his arms, half with his mind, just enough to get a foothold on the craggy surface which suspended a plane of dark emptiness. As he pushed up and away hard with his legs, the dark force which he'd been resisting gave way like the flick of a switch, launching him up through the air and down, flat on his back on the rubble. Winded, Kylo pushed himself up onto his elbows and found his bearings, locating Rey amongst the rubble and dust. While he'd been holding on for his life in the pit he saw blue-white flashes of lightening reflecting around the walls of the temple, the moaning of what sounded like that of a thousand dead men, and the guttural screaming of one ancient being. One thing was for sure, Palpatine was gone. Kylo had felt the darkness evaporate, a dragging weight lifted from his mind. He dragged himself over to Rey. Just above his right knee had been punctured when he was thrown against the crags of the chasm, and there was a deep, seeping gash on his right shoulder. He positioned himself over Rey and swung her up and over, into his lap. Her eyes were open but not looking, her body limp, her aura distant.

Rey felt as though she were being dragged backwards through a gallery of her life. Like the first time she held Luke's saber, she began falling through time and place. Her life on Jakku, abandoned, alone. Meeting BB, Finn, Han, Chewy, and Poe. Leia… and Luke. Her brief training on Ahch-to; she had come so far since then, in such a short time. Fighting the dark side of the force— of herself. Fighting with Kylo Ren in the forest, on the old Death Star. Ben. She had brought him back. No, that wasn't true. It was Leia who brought Ben out of the darkness. Rey had merely healed his body, shared her life force with him. She recalled the heat she had felt beneath her hands as she rid him of his wounds. The scar on his face she gave him at their first battle. She could feel this heat seeping through her now, only warmer, deeper, and all over from head to foot. Her flight backward through her memories slowed and Ben's face, straight and solemn, swam in darkness before her eyes. Her ears hummed as if she were under water, and it appeared as though Ben lay below the surface. Rey was drawn closer to him, his face becoming clearer and clearer. She then realised he wasn't below water at all, he was above her, cradling her. She could feel his arm under her back, his bare fingers supporting her neck.

Kylo placed his right hand on Rey's stomach, as she had done to him when healing his fatal wound. Closing his eyes he began forcing his energy into her. It was a warm feeling, but less pleasant than being on the receiving end. Instead of a filling, revitalising sensation, he felt drowsy, drained. But there was also a sense of good in what he did. It was a feeling he could barely recall but which had been present in his youth. Kylo didn't want to exist in a galaxy without her. How could he after this? The force bond visits, which he never hated— even those most inconvenient ones— gave him a deep thrill and excited something within him out of the mundanity of First Order life. The time in between was filled with a loneliness which dragged at his nerves. The bond briefly let the light creep in, but as she vanished, the darkness washed back into the void like the waves of Kef Bir.

Rey had to wait before she could move any part of her body. She could think the words with all her might but they would not come out, at least that she could hear. Mere seconds felt like an age, and as soon as she reached the surface of this invisible prison all of her energy went into reuniting her mind with her body. The only word she could summon was his name. She looked down her body to see his splayed hand spanning her stomach, and realisation fell upon her at once. All the Jedi that ever lived had joined within her. Together they had destroyed Palpatine. Ben had been thrown… how was he alive? Looking back to his face, and then over his body— the blood. He was spending his remaining life force on reviving her. Had she been dead?  
'Ben! Stop—'

Kylo felt himself fading away, but hearing that voice meant his sacrifice had worked. He opened his eyes to see Rey's glowing face, filled with horror, searching his body for wounds. He looked down as he sensed her warm hand rest on his, feeling a radiating sensation travel up his arm and into his core. His eyes were pulled back up and she was looking into his face now. His stomach turned with a pang of regret that he would never have the chance to prove his worthiness, to show that his mother's sacrifice had been worth it, having dragged the darkness from him almost completely. It was difficult to say whether it had changed him entirely, as he felt no different in his bitterness. Simply tired. Tired of the darkness, of being alone. And Rey telling him as she healed his body that she wanted to take Ben's hand— that had confirmed the way he felt about her. Before, he had been certain he only wanted her power— for her to sit beside him while they ruled the galaxy in a united force. Existing as one, and repaying the galaxy for how it had broken them both. Now it was clear to him what he had really wanted. The pull which Snoke had used to lure him to the dark side all those years ago was nothing compared to the magnetic force which naturally projected from Rey. All he could do was hold on to her now. But it was too late.

She found his dark eyes and saw in them the pain of what he was doing, and perhaps something else lay in them too. Rey had found his hand with hers almost instinctively and begun returning the energy he was still trying to push from himself. She felt not just revived, but like she could run the Jedi training course twice over. There was no need for him to die, she was sure of it. If they both had to crawl out of there on their last breath it would be worlds better than only one of them surviving. Remembering the wounds to his knee and shoulder, she reluctantly withdrew from holding his hand. She sat up in his lap with his body flush against her side, placing one palm over his shoulder and the other over his knee. The heat between them was a comfort which removed any doubt that Rey would not succeed in keeping the two of them alive. It was like the force bond, only with less tension present between them, and much less space, both physical and mental.  
'Be with me'. She willed, not the past Jedi this time, but Ben, to join forces with her. 'Be with me'.

Kylo could feel the pain seeping away from the closing wounds. She had risen in his lap and wrapped one arm around his neck, reaching his opposite shoulder. Her other hand which had left his was now on his knee, which was a kind of intimacy he had never known. Almost every part of Rey was touching him. The hand he had been supporting her back with was left unoccupied by her rising on her own, and so automatically it had wrapped itself around her middle, bringing her body against his. All of a sudden he felt a presence in his mind, a thought other than his own. It reminded him of Palpatine's suggestion, that every influential voice he had ever known had been projected by him. Only Palpatine's power had disappeared from the atmosphere and this lacked the chill of darkness. Again, like everything about Rey's aura, it was contrastingly warm. He could feel her inviting him to share her mind as he began to feel stronger. Like the hand he had offered her so many times, she was reaching out with her bright, clean soul. He closed his eyes again and let himself seep into her.

In their mental unity, Rey could see, hear, feel him breathing, thinking, and most importantly, healing. She had done it. She no longer felt as though she could take on any strenuous movement, but the triumph she felt, not to mention the relief, was a healer in itself. She could sense his awe. He felt it too. She opened her eyes and the scene around them was not of the dark, hellish atmosphere of Exogol they were in, but a new place. A place Rey had never seen before. On a grassy mountain side under a blue sky, overlooking an arboraceous metropolis filled with golden, temple-like buildings topped with blue domed roofs. The city was surrounded by water, and enormous waterfalls gushed from various crevices in the wooded cliffs. It was breathtaking, and took Rey back to the tranquillity of her forest on Ajan Kloss.  
'Wait'.

Kylo opened his eyes.  
'Where w—' began Rey, curious as to where she had just been.  
'You're alive…' He cut in. 'I'm alive— how— what have you done?' His body now strong enough to prevent himself from falling back had caused him to be more aware of the potential dangers of their surroundings. His jolt had stopped the vision and put and end to Rey's brief retreat into tranquillity. She pulled her face away from his neck, where it had rested itself during their bond, and stared into his eyes. The position in which they sat now suddenly made her feel somewhat self-conscious, and she moved to get up. Rey was weak, but strong enough to remain seated upright across his thighs, and so probably able to stand. Raising her hands she checked his shoulder and knee. They had healed a great deal, enough to move him to the safety of Luke's Fighter, but they were still open and were at risk of becoming infected.  
'We have time. Palpatine is gone, did you..?'  
Rey was alarmed by the gentle pressure he retained her with, but didn't try to resist him. 'Yes, I was afraid killing him would draw the Sith into me, but the force… all the Jedi— they came to me instead. We did it'. She remembered the two of them locked in his Palpatine's draining grasp. It felt like hours had passed when it had only been a matter of minutes. So much had changed in such a short period of time and there was a lot to catch up with. Rey was also aware that this was the first conversation she had ever had with Ben where he wasn't trying to bring her over to the dark side. It was bizarre, as though with Leia's sacrifice she had drawn the darkness from him, but also matured him. She then recalled how he had behaved during his battle with the Knights of Ren. Even his stance, his gait had altered. The way he handled Luke's saber as it cast him under a fresh light, opposed to his usual sinister red glow. This was really Ben. If he now offered her his hand again she wouldn't hesitate to take it.

So that was what Kylo could hear as he held on for dear life to the rock face. Rey had just destroyed the Emperor and the Sith while he had hung over a hole in the ground. Pathetic. He couldn't keep this thought from appearing on his face, and Rey took it as something else.  
'Ben? We need to talk. Properly. You've been through so much. Leia— your mother… let's get back to the base…'  
'Which base?' Kylo frowned at her. The first order was destroyed, there was no base for him to go to. It then occurred to him that she was referring to the rebel base. She stared questioningly back at his puzzled face, and it clicked with both of them at once. Everything really had changed.  
'You can come back with me — With us! You can come back to the rebel base. Become acquainted with everyone… properly.'  
Kylo exhaled in amusement. She means introduce myself without holding a saber across their throats. 'I don't think that would be— they will need time'.  
She looked away in embarrassment. This made Rey angry, but she understood all the same. Finn and Poe would definitely take some convincing, and they were her best friends. Winning over everybody else on the base would be harder than ending Palpatine. 'Fine, we'll just go somewhere else,' she said, swinging her eyes back up to him and trying to sound unfazed. Kylo blinked at her. Just go somewhere? With Rey?  
'Can you stand?'  
'Can you?' he scoffed back.  
'Let's see, shall we?' she raised her eyebrows, placed her hands gently on his frame and pulled up onto her feet. Without thinking, Kylo placed his hand on her lower back to propel her up. As she straightened her legs her behind brushed over his palm and he felt a spasm in his chest. She turned towards him with a blushing face, which could have been either from his touch or the exertion of getting up, and offered her hand to him. Kylo began to smile, which felt strange. All this happiness and normality after years of hatred and loneliness, it suddenly dawned on him that he now had a friend. Her outstretched hand reminded him of the many occasions he had offered her his own, each time to be rejected. Not because she didn't want to take his hand, but because she was fighting for a better cause. His smile vanished before it was broad enough to be recognised.  
Ben needed to use all fours to get to his feet, so Rey let her hand dropped back to her thigh. She watched him, poised to help, as he raised himself until he once again towered over her. He was a whole head taller, and wider for that matter. Rey had never sized herself up to him before, there had never been time. Now they stood before each other under the dim light of the stars, shining in from between the craggy temple walls. Now they had all the time in the galaxy. 'Are you ok?' she asked delicately, seeing the winces he was trying to conceal.  
'Yeah, but I could use some sewing up. I imagine my ship has been destroyed along with the destroyer fleet—'.  
'Come with me,' Rey interrupted. She didn't want a repeat of the conversation they just had which suggested he would be going off on his own somewhere. She pulled the two lightsabers from where she had dropped them through the air, catching one in each hand. She attached Leia's to her belt and, seeing that Ben had no means of carrying it, did the same with Luke's. 'I want to stay with you in case you take a bad turn. We can go somewhere safe until the air has cleared, away from both sides. Ahch-to! There's shelter and resources and nobody else but the Caretakers'.  
'But your friends, they will want to know you're…' Her real friends, he thought. They are her priority.  
'My friends can wait. We both need to heal,' What Rey wanted more than anything was to get the two of them safely away from Exegol. 'Come with me, Ben' she said, once again offering her hand. Why did she keep doing this, after the lashing she gave Finn for it during their escape from Jakku? This was different. She had wanted to hold Ben's hand for a long time.

Kylo took her hand in his and gripped it tenderly. Before anything could be shared between them Rey had set off in the lead towards the elevator platform, the huge black walls climbing towards the sky on every side. Kylo limped behind her trying to keep up, although she didn't walk all that fast. Feeling faint, he tried to keep his mind in a state of meditation as he walked to lessen the pain which still struck chords randomly throughout his body. During this state of quiet he picked up on something else. It was a feeling of calm, mixed with relief, but also a little confusion. It was Rey he could feel. Not only in his hand, but in his mind. It was a beautiful sensation and made him subconsciously squeeze her hand again, which appeared to spike her confusion.  
'Are you alright?' Rey turned her head to look at their hands, then her eyes quickly shot up to his face. 'We're not far now'.  
Kylo wasn't alright, but he gritted his teeth and nodded. Soon they came into view of the platform and the chain which he'd launched himself down. He glared at it in resentment.  
Together they mounted the platform and rose to the planet's surface. It took slightly longer to make it out into the open with Kylo's limp, but they made it eventually. What he wasn't expecting to see was his TIE fighter in flames. 'Crap'.  
Rey dropped his hand and jogged over to Luke's X-Wing. It appeared to be untouched. Turning back, she tried to look solemnly at him, but couldn't refrain from laughing aloud. Kylo was frustrated, but couldn't find it in himself to be angry. Seeing her laugh was like witnessing a sunrise after spending too long on Bray.  
'Looks like you'll be squeezing in with me then,' she said through a smile. 'You're a bit heavy for me though, you'll have to drive'.  
Speechless, Kylo hobbled over to her fighter. He stopped, stared at it for a moment, and considered how this could possibly work. 'It's not going to work,' he resolved.  
'Of course it will,' said Rey dismissively, turning again towards the ship.  
'We're not both going to fit in there. There's only one seat!' he blurted in frustration. He needed to get off Exegol. He felt like the planet's darkness was gradually swallowing him whole.  
Rey blushed as though had been been told off, and he immediately felt guilty for snapping. But her blush made more sense when she turned to unlock the ship and said, 'We can if I sit across your lap'.  
Kylo raised his eyebrows, looked at her glowing cheeks as she busied herself opening up the ship, looked at the single driver's seat, then back at her. 'Uh…' He had no idea what the correct reply was.  
'I can put my weight on your good leg, and can probably still drive if you aren't sure—'  
'I know how, I just…' he blundered. Just what? It was the only way. And besides, she had just been sitting across his lap for about ten minutes and nobody had died. Quite the opposite actually. 'OK. But it's going to take me a minute to get up there'.  
'If we use the force we can both support your weight'. As she said this Kylo felt a lightness in his body, like somebody had sucked the gravity from the planet.  
'Hey! Wait a minute, no. You're too weak, you need to preserve your energy in case we need it,' he said, not intending to sound as short as he did. Rey stepped back apologetically, looking to the ground about her feet as gravity was restored to him. This wasn't a good start—this planet was toxic. No wonder the Sith thought a vergence existed inside it. The sooner they were away, the better. Kylo stepped beneath the door and gripped the ledge above his head. The pain in his knee while walking had taken his mind off the wound in his shoulder, but this brought it back with full force. Exhaling for clarity of mind, he closed his eyes and said 'Ok I'm sorry for being stubborn. Will you help me? But just a little. I'll pull up and use the force too. Don't tire yourself out for me'.  
Rey looked up at his back and smiled. She walked over and stood behind him, placing her hand on his lower back as he said aloud, 'Ok, one, two, three—'  
Their combined force plus the little strength he had in his arms and legs pulled him up with only a slight struggle. As his body elevated towards the cockpit her hand brushed down his back and across his behind. Was that to get him back for earlier? His feet landed on the seat with a light thud. He sat down, trying not to turn red, and adjusted the seat as far back as it would go. Reaching over the side, Kylo extended his left arm down towards Rey. Her returned grin shifted something inside of him. He would embarrass himself a hundred times over to see that face light up before him. He smiled back, gently using the force to lift her onto her toes as she had done to him. She grinned and shoved the side of the fighter as if she were nudging him in the ribs, and reached out for his hand. Using his huge arm as a willing rope, she walked up the side of the fighter and gently stepped in around his legs. She then lowered herself down into place on his left thigh. Kylo's heart pounded to be so close to her once again. When Ray was settled into his lap, he reached over her shoulder for the hatch of the fighter. Not previously realising just how little room there would be in the bubble, fit only for a single person, he tugged it down over their heads. Clearly being more aware, Rey leaned forward into his neck just in time for the hatch to slam down, which would have cracked her on the back of the head if she hadn't jolted forward.  
'Sorry! This is a very small space, are you going to be alright?' he asked the top of her head.

Rey exhaled in relief that she'd avoided the bump, then smiled into his neck. Pulling away she gave him another grin which spread into more laughter. 'This_ is_ a very small space. I believe we look quite ridiculous. We're going to have to land somewhere where nobody can laugh us back off the planet'. Her smiles were infectious and it pleased her even more to see Ben grin back at her. They looked into each others eyes for a few moments, Ben's face only a few inches away from hers. She saw the grin relax into another look of puzzlement. Saw his eyes drop to her mouth. Would he? Should she? But then he looked straight forward, wrapped his arms around her to reach the controls, and started up the ship. This shook Rey out of the trance she had fallen into, and she settled lower into his neck once again as to not block his view of the sky ahead of them.

Kylo had to drag his stare away from her face before he fell into it. He wanted to kiss her. But at the same time he wanted to be as far away from Exegol as possible. He wanted no other memories but the death of Palpatine to be connected to this dark desert planet, and he intended never to visit it again. Kylo distracted himself with getting to know the fighter's controls. How long had he wanted to fly this damn thing, until he joined the First Order and was given ships of his own to manage. Now it just felt like an old rust bucket. Looked like one too, where had it been all these years?  
Rey huddled down into his neck so that he could see the dashboard before them. In order to keep herself hunched in this position she wedged her right arm under his left and wrapped the other around his front. This felt extraordinary. Nobody had held him like this before, so closely, it was like she was hugging him. _Maybe she _is_ hugging me_, he thought, silently flattering himself. Would that be so impossible? Yes, it was. Kylo Ren was not worthy of Rey's affection, not even her regard. After all he had done— everything that had happened because of him... These were the dreadful thoughts filling Kylo's head as he became familiar with the controls. Lifting the ship from the ground, he turned it back in the direction she had come from. He flicked on the radar, locating Ahch-to. Rey clearly held a lot of value in that tiny planet. He raised them up and out of the atmosphere, put them on the trajectory of her last journey, and launched the fighter into hyperspace. Judging by their pace on the radar, they would be travelling for about fifteen minutes. Being off that planet lifted a heavy weight from his chest. This feeling of freedom left only one sensation on his front now, and that was the rise and fall of Rey's chest on his.  
'Are you okay?' He whispered, not entirely sure why. It felt like a sacred moment that shouldn't be ruined by speech, but he needed to know she was okay.

Rey raised herself out from her tucked position and looked out of the window, as if she had just woken up from a deep, haunted sleep. She felt different. Clean. Like she had been released from the prison that was Exogol. Her heart, or at least some place deep in her chest, was pounding for something she could not put her finger on, until she found it. Her eyes were pulled round by what she could only fathom to be the force, and her eyes locked with Ben's. He was glaring at her, the look on his face somewhere between how he looked before taking off, and like he was about to cry. He didn't cry. Instead he went to smile, but at the last second his lips parted slightly. His eyes dropped to her mouth as they had done before, only now there was nothing else to distract him. Rey could feel his emotions radiating from him. What she would give to hear his thoughts, but now was not an appropriate time to start probing his brain. Instead she placed her left hand around one side of his head and stroked the hair at the base of his neck, never taking her eyes off his. They appeared lighter every time she looked into them, not necessarily in colour, but in weight, like a shadow was lifting from within them.  
He had asked her how she was, and in all honesty, she had no idea. 'I'm weak,' she whispered back. Rey dropped her eyes and slowly closed the small gap between them, placing her parted lips tenderly over his.


	2. Chapter 2: Ahch-To

Kylo felt a rush of something in his stomach, like nausea, like heart palpitations, only he didn't want it to end. Rey's mouth was softer than he could ever have imagined it to be. Another half a second and he would have closed the gap between them himself. He was glad, however, that she had made the first move. The self-doubt which he had been battling since his feelings for her had risen to the surface dissolved away. She felt it too. He now felt almost sure that at least a part of her had wanted him all this time, just as he wanted her. But he was more sure that she must hate him. Planets had been destroyed at his command, and many people killed by him, including his own father and mother. _How could she want to be touched by a creature like me? How can she even look at me?_

Rey felt Ben push into her kiss, could sense his relief, but also an urgency in him. But she could sense something else, something she had never detected in anyone before, other than in herself during a force-bond moment on Ahch-to. It was like desire, similar to hunger... It embarrassed her a little, but what did she have to be embarrassed about? They were both feeling this way, so perhaps it was normal. And besides, it felt better this time because she wasn't just craving intimacy… She was _getting_ it. Or at least she was until Ben pulled away.

'Ben?' Rey whispered, suddenly feeling self-conscious about her feelings. This would be so much easier if he couldn't sense hers too…

'You keep calling me Ben' he said, looking ahead.

'That's your name isn't it?' replied Rey with a frown. That was his name, right? Had she been saying it wrong all this time? Now that _would_ be embarrassing, she thought, ready to turn pink at any moment.

'It's the name my mother gave me, but I don't feel worthy of it any more. Before you first called me by it, I hadn't heard it in years. It doesn't feel right any more'. He kept staring straight ahead into the light-speed tunnel, the blue glow rippling across his face like a river reflecting the suns.

'Ben is your name. Nothing else. Ben Solo. Any other name you've been known by is gone. That wasn't you, it was the darkness. Like a disease, a shell you were trapped inside. I will never think of you as that again,' Rey stated in a way which could not be argued with. Then softened slightly as she continued, 'Ben Solo is whose future I saw. Standing beside me, holding my hand. Nobody else'.

'But the things I've done-' He broke off, as if trying not to cry.

'You were young, scared, and betrayed by your uncle. He has since admitted it to me, that night after we touched hands through the force bond. I may have also laid him out in a saber battle… You're welcome,' she grinned. 'You've been manipulated ever since that night by so many different forces, all bad, all belonging to the dark. You killed people at another's command— Snoke, Palpatine… Kylo. He is not you. You are Ben Solo'.

A tear fell before he managed to squeeze the rest away. Opening his eyes, he turned his face back to Rey's and stared deep into her own. 'Help me forget'.

'You almost just sacrificed your life for mine,' she laughed, 'I'll do anything for you'.

A brief smile flickered between them, and was instantly replaced on both sides with that face which Rey now associated with the embarrassing, hungry feeling. Before she had the chance to move back in, Ben removed his left hand from the steering and wrapped it around her waist, hugging her closer. She closed her eyes ready for another kiss, only to feel his face pass closely by hers. She opened her eyes wide as his lips landed far back on her cheek, close to her ear. The feeling of his gentle exhale down her neck was so extraordinary that she closed her eyes and did the same. Instinctively she placed her hand on his neck as he leaned back out and deeply kissed her as she had done to him. Her hand ran down his torso and landed over the hole in his shirt she had made with his lightsaber that same day. Rey could feel the singed edges of it rough against her fingers. Without thinking, she blindly placed her fingertips beneath the tear as she returned his kiss. There was no scar, only the hot, smooth skin of his stomach. The image of him standing half naked in his quarters flashed behind her eyelids once more. How long ago had that been? She had learnt so much about herself since that day, a time when she was unable to trust him. They'd discussed fathers. She'd cried. She felt the same way inside now as when she had turned to see him standing there. Only now, instead of being mingled with shame and hatred, this pure feeling spread throughout her body, flowing from the point where his hand gripped her waist. Back then she had wanted to hide her weakness from him. Now all Rey wanted was to submit herself into his arms and let him take her wherever he wanted.

He felt weaker than he ever had. Weaker now than each time he had lost a lightsaber battle to Rey. He was surrendering to her now faster than he could ever have imagined, but at the same time possessing her in a way that he'd longed for obsessively. But was he what she wanted? Could he be his old self? Almost the entirety of his adult life had been spent in darkness, he barely knew who Ben Solo was. But as he felt Rey's hand venture beneath his shirt he knew he would give anything to keep her there. Even if he had to change his entire being. _Ben. I can be Ben. Even if I don't feel any different. _Do_ I feel different? _Then it occurred to him that she hadn't known him before he had changed sides. She only knew him as the bad guy, and she seemed to be quite over that now... His thoughts then shifted back to her hand. What was she doing? He then recalled their battle on Endor earlier that day. It felt like years ago. This day had contained more life changing moments than any other he had experienced, both sad and happy. This moment was definitely the best in his life, he just wished he could think of himself as changed—as Ben—without feeling like he was lying to Rey. It was time to stop over thinking, however. He had the most beautiful creature he had ever seen sat in his lap, kissing him, and she deserved his entire attention. Ben hugged her tighter, his hand slipping down so it pulled her in at the crease between her pelvis and her thigh. He would give anything right now to be able to take his other hand off the steering, but that wouldn't end well for either of them. He was also afraid of scaring her away, although that would be difficult in this tiny space. Not that she seemed frightened in any way; if anything she seemed more confident than he did. She shuffled in his lap to adjust her seat on his thigh and the movement sent shock waves through Ben's bottom half. No. Not now. Need to cool it down. But how? There was no way he could stop kissing her, and it didn't feel like she was ready to pull away any time soon, much to his satisfaction. _Please, body, please refrain_.

'Red Five, this is Black Leader… Rey? You there?'

The two new lovers tore apart in surprise at the interruption, Rey banging her head on the fighter's hatch and Ben swerving the fighter so they were jolted apart and then back together. Ben looked bewildered, but Rey was doing all she could not to burst out laughing. She reached into the footwell to pick up the helmet speaking to them.

'I repeat, Rey, this is Black Leader—this is Poe—can you hear me? Are you alright?'

'Poe! This is Rey, I'm fine. I'm so happy to hear your voice— have you heard from Finn?' She heard Poe laugh with relief through the transmission.

'He's on the Falcon with Chewy and Lando, we're all headed back to Ajan Kloss. I mean, those who made it are,' his voice suddenly dropped into a more solemn pitch. Rey had been distracted. She had forgotten about the endless casualties and fatalities there must be. But she couldn't focus on that yet. Poe, Finn, Chewy— they were alive, they would lead the rest of the rebels into safety. She needed to concentrate on getting her and Ben to a safe place to regain their energy. 'What happened on Exogol?' continued Poe. 'You better be off that damn planet already...'.

'I am, I'm on my way to… I need to…' Rey didn't know what to say. She couldn't tell him she was sat across Ben's knee, he'd send a search party across the whole galaxy until they found her safe. She also couldn't tell him where she was going or that she needed to rest because they would instantly come and get her, no matter how much she protested.

Ben knew what she was struggling with and sent her a transmission of his own, through the force bond.

_Tell him you're fine but there is something you need to do alone. You have new information on your parents. You will be back on Ajan tomorrow by their nightfall._

Rey turned and searched his eyes. The new knowledge of her family name kept fading in and out of her memory amongst all of the crazy stuff that had happened in that single day. She smiled a thank you at him, despite the reminder of who her family were.

'Rey!?'

'Sorry Poe, Red Five's transmission is a little rusty. Look, I will tell you more later, but there is one last thing I need to do before I come back to Ajan. I've had some new information on my family and I need a day to… to figure it out. I promise I will be back by your nightfall tomorrow, just please promise you won't panic or try to follow me. This really _is_ something I need to do on my own'.

There was silence other than the fuzz of the helmet's transmitter for a few moments.

'Poe?'

'Rey I wish you would just let us help you. No matter what, we want you to stay safe. I'll leave you to it, but if you're not back by dusk we're coming to find you, whatever it takes.'

'I appreciate it, Poe. I can't wait to get back and see everyone. Don't worry, my destination is a safe place. I'm turning off my tracker and transmitter for a while, so don't think I've been taken out. Say hi to the guys for me. We did it, Poe.'

Silence again. 'Yeah' he sighed in surrender, 'we did it. Tomorrow, dusk! And make sure you switch back on for your journey back so we can check in'.

Rey switched off the transmitter and the helmet's speaker, dumping it back into the footwell beside Ben's feet. 'Well done' she said to him, grinning once again.

He grinned back and shrugged modestly. 'We're almost there. Do you want to direct me where to land when we drop into the atmosphere?'

'I didn't think you'd like to be _directed_ anywhere, Solo' Rey teased. They dropped out of the hyperspace route and Ben took them towards Ahch-to. Rey had a different idea of what directing meant. She shuffled into the centre of his lap, placing her back to his front, swinging her legs in between his, and placed her hands over his hands to take control of the steering. She wasn't heavy, but the sensation of those two areas touching made him exhale in shock.

'Oh, are you alright? Sorry, is it your knee..? I'll go ba—'

'No! You're fine, go ahead, it doesn't hurt,' he stumbled, trying to enjoy the moment, but not _too_ much. Occasionally she would flex her neck from side to side for relief from her cramped position. When she did this he studied the movement, the curve from her ear to the top of her tunic. At one point she stretched her back, allowing her hair to lightly brush against his face. These occurrences were all a novelty to Ben, and it was all he could do to not kiss the back of her.

Rey gradually brought them around the planet and honed in on her favourite landing spot on the cliffs close by the old Jedi huts, while Ben sat like a statue beneath her. It felt odd coming back to Temple Island so soon when she had only left it earlier that day. It had been daylight then. Now it was getting dark and her attention was drawn to an orange glow at the base of the cliffs. She grimaced to herself as she prepared for landing.

They came down with a soft thunk on the grassy cliff top. Ben was dreading getting out of the fighter; It looked significantly colder and windier on this planet and he didn't have a cloak. He also dreaded losing the delicious weight of Rey from his lap. She turned off the engine and sat silent as though trying to think of something to say or do. Was she stalling?

'It looks cold,' said Ben, staring at the back of her head. His hands, he realised, were still on the steering. Her right hand was still holding his on the grip, and the other had fallen down by her side onto his leg.

'It is rather chilly, especially after dark, but it won't be so bad when we get a fire going. I'll gather some blankets from Luke's hut and—'

'Luke?' Ben interrupted.

'I'm sorry, I forgot you didn't know,' she said, sounding genuine. 'This is the planet where Luke went into hiding for all those years. I followed the map here to persuade him to train me. I was here when— the night we—'

'I remember. He broke our bond'.

'Yes'.

Ben could hear sorrow in her voice and instinctively placed his free hand over hers on his knee. Luke was gone. He clearly meant a lot to Rey. He had meant a lot to him at one time. Less so now. But he was no longer fuelled by hatred for him.

'Are you ready?' asked Rey. 'The faster we move the warmer we'll stay until we get set up. I promise it can get quite cosy once the fires are lit'.

'Let's go' replied Ben, trying to withhold the strain of regret in his voice. Removing his hand from hers, he reached for the hatch and broke the seal between them and the coastal breeze. It was bitter. Rey jumped up and lowered herself over the edge of the ship. Ben followed her lead, using only his left arm to lower himself to the ground below. When he turned, Rey looked away quickly as if she had been caught looking at something she shouldn't. She locked up the fighter and headed down the cliff towards some domed structures which were connected with various networks of steps laid into the cliffs. There appeared to be water on all sides, but it was getting too dark to see for sure. A small few of the huts were lit at the windows.

'Do other people live here?`

'Just the locals who take care of the ruins. They… don't like me much,' murmured Rey, walking off.

'Should I be concerned?'

'No, no. They keep to themselves. I've just destroyed a few too many sacred parts of the island for their liking,' she laughed.

Ben followed her down the cliff and noticed a tall pile of glowing embers. 'What happened here?'

'You ask a lot of questions,' she teased, perhaps a little too deadpan.

'I'm sorry, I— sorry…'

Rey turned around quickly to face him, taking a step closer before stopping abruptly. 'No I'm sorry I was— it's… uh. That thing on fire is your TIE fighter'.

'Oh,' Ben raised his eyebrows, not quite knowing what to say. He'd forgotten all about his TIE fighter. 'Was there an accident, or—?'

'I was angry,' Rey interrupted, unable to take his politeness. 'I'm sorry, it was a very stupid thing to do, on many levels—'

'Rey, it's okay. I was a threat, you had to take it. By taking my ship you gave me time to think. Time to…' Ben recalled the visit from his father. It wasn't a discussion for right now. He closed the gap between them and took her hand. 'Come on, find us a warm place to sleep'.

They walked hand in hand to the old huts and Rey led them past the ruins of the one she had previously slept in. The keepers had tidied up the stones which had been scattered from the walls by Luke's force. 'This is where I sat when we touched hands that night'. Ben remained silent, but gently squeezed her fingers in his. 'And then I beat him up for interrupting us,' she grinned back at him, letting go of his hand so she could lead them up the narrow steps to the next hut.

'I wanted to kiss you so badly,' blurted Ben to the back of Rey. He immediately felt insecure about what he had said and internally cursed himself for his apparent lack of self-control.

She hesitated for a second, then continued walking. 'I was very conflicted at that point. I was determined to change you, but I hated you for all you had done...'

Ben flinched behind her.

'But if you'd tried to kiss me I'd have let you'. She reached the top of the steps and turned to look at him. He stopped two steps below her so their faces were on a level.

'If Luke hadn't broken the bond you might have won me over all that time ago'.

Rey smiled with sparkling eyes. 'Come on'. She turned into the hut and glared through the darkness. He obediently followed closely behind her.

'There are blankets in Luke's hut, I'll go and get them if you start a fire? There should be a woodpile in the next hut'.

Ben left the hut with his arms full of logs and some pieces of flint, trying to mentally block out the cold, as well as the sharpness in his shoulder and knee. He was feeling slightly stronger now, but this wouldn't last if he didn't get warm soon. It would be the same for Rey, he guessed. He crossed the hill back to their hut and dumped the wood, placing some into the stone pit in the centre of it. Rey walked in encumbered with rough-spun blankets as he was blowing the sparks. The flames rose up around the wood, illuminating their faces and surroundings. She looked sullen, her eyes were still sparkling, but her cheeks were wet now.

'What's wrong? Are you hurt?' Ben jumped up from his squatting position, regardless of his knee, and strode over to her, taking the bundle.

'No I'm fine, it was just… Going in Luke's hut. Seeing his things lying around untouched. You said before that I craved a father. I think you were right. And now they have all gone as quickly as I found them'.

Ben felt a dragging in his chest. It was all his fault. There was no denying it. Han, Luke, Leia, they were all dead because of him. Because of Kylo Ren. 'I'm so sorry. I can never redeem myself after what I've done' he mumbled while turning on the spot looking for somewhere to drop the blankets to leave.

'No! Stop, that's not what I meant,' she could see what he was thinking and took them from him to place them on the stone bench which lined the wall behind him. 'Please, let's just sit. We need to talk, properly, so we may as well get warm and eat something. Then I can stitch you up if you'd like. Luke kept emergency ration packs for sudden turns in the weather,' she said as she pulled out a wad of filmy packets she had tucked in her belt. 'This should be enough to get us by until we get to Ajan Kloss. I'm going to get some water to boil. Stay here and don't move'.

Ben watched her leave with regret. Would he ever stop upsetting her? She was right though, they had too much to get out in the open. It had been a long time, however, since he had sat and talked to someone casually, let alone friendly. He was too used to giving or taking orders, not having to worry about hurting people's feelings. Luke had always told him to be kinder to the other Jedi apprentices, and at one point he really felt like he was improving his social skills. They had even begun inviting him to their late-night gatherings behind the temple where they messed around with the force, doing childish stuff. Just as he was getting used to other kids, possibly starting to make friends after all that time, his own teacher—no, his own _uncle_—turned on him. And now they were all dead. One of the girls had even kissed him at one point, in the darkness away from the fire. It was clumsy and unappealing then, not like Rey's kiss. That first childhood kiss had meant nothing. Rey was somehow everything. Even during their battles, even when she thrust her lightsaber through his body, he had never intended to kill her from the moment he laid his eyes on her. Felt her force. Not really, because he somehow knew he couldn't live from that moment on in a galaxy without her.

Rey went back to Luke's hut and grabbed all the things they would need for a comfortable night. They could have just used this hut, but it seemed too soon to invade it, especially after the chat with his force ghost earlier that day. She also didn't know how it would affect Ben, not that her most recent bout of tears had done a very good job at easing the tension. She must stop being so weak. Getting warm and having some food would help. She made a stop at the well to fill a large flask, before heading back towards the glow of their chosen hut. She then realised they didn't have a door. Another thing. As she crossed the threshold, Ben was shaking out the blankets and arranging them on the slightly less dusty bench. She tossed a stand over the now blazing fire. He finished his task and turned to watch her pour water from the flask into a pot which she then placed over the fire. What Rey wouldn't give for her tiny kitchen on Jakku. It was simple but it provided much faster cooking than a camp-fire. She joined him on the covered bench, staring into the flames. He wrapped a blanket over her shoulders and one over her knees.

'I'm sorry for making things worse. You must understand my conflict,' he said gently with eyes cast down. 'I'm aware of the gravity of everything I've done, but it's made infinitely worse when I see how those terrible things affect you'.

'I do understand', she sighed. 'For so long I hated you, but then I experienced the pull of the dark side and realised that Kylo Ren was _not_ you. As somebody who has managed to deny the darkness by having the right people to guide me through it, I can see how having nobody would have made it so much easier to slip under'. She grasped his hand, making his eyes rise up to meet hers. 'As long as I live I will never let you fall back into the darkness. Kylo did bad things, but _you_ have done so much good already. I owe you my life'.

'You owe me nothing. I already owed you a life, and much more besides. I might have repaid you with a life, but I will keep making the rest up to you for as long as _I_ live'.

Rey blushed with the intensity of what had just been agreed between them. Their relationship had transformed from foes to allies in a single day. And now what? Allies didn't seem to appropriately describe what had been occurring between them for the last few hours. There had always been an intense sense of danger in their bond, but now it felt dangerous in a different way.

The water was bubbling in the pan and Rey broke their shared gaze to remove it from the flames and scoop some into the small tin dish. Her cheeks were dry now, flushed with exertion from her trips around the island, Ben assumed. She looked incredibly precious, illuminated by the glow of the fire, and it was all he could do not to pull her close and kiss her again. The promise he had just made felt exposing and a little awkward. But it was the truth, and he was adamant to himself that he wouldn't hold back from her any more. Verbally, at least. _Some_ self control would definitely work in his favour for now, he was sure of it. He watched her blow the water in the dish as she came back to sit next to him. She raised one leg so she faced him and he turned to do the same, extending his right leg so as not to damage the still open wound any further. Watching her do the most menial tasks was fascinating; he couldn't take his eyes from her as she emptied the ration packet into the cooling water and lightly stirred it with her finger. Perhaps it was because he had only seen her in moments of danger or during serious arguments via the force bond. Now they were simply sat, just being human together. The contents of the dish inflated into the inevitably sad loaf, but Ben was so hungry he would have eaten a live Porg. Rey split the portion unevenly and gave him the larger half.

'No—'

'No,' she stopped him before he could try and be chivalrous, 'You're twice the size of me, and I am used to not eating. I'm a scavenger, remember. If we eat this now we can have another packet for breakfast, and there will be one more before our journey if you can bear it,' she teased. 'I don't know what they feed you in the First Order', she said, looking him up and down, 'but it doesn't appear to have been rations'. She forcefully offered the larger piece to him, so he took it without a fight and tried to eat at a regular pace, not wanting to resemble a greedy hutt. She ate hers at a leisurely pace also, like she was savouring every tasteless crumb of it, and even licked her fingers afterwards. Ben laughed, then sensed her embarrassment.

'I was thinking about how we have gone from constant seriousness and aggression to just sitting, eating, building fires. It's so… normal'.

Rey suppressed a grin as she swallowed her last mouthful. 'This isn't normal.'

Ben laughed and nodded. A slight draught blew in from the doorway, sending a shiver through them both. He got up and went about attaching one of the spare blankets over some hooks on each side of the stone door frame, fixing it at the bottom with the larger remaining logs. It wasn't exactly wind proof but the doorway was sort of sheltered and it would at least keep the worst out. He went back to his spot behind the fire as Rey went over to the pan and filled the empty tin with water. She took some sips, then passed it over. 'Here, it's cooled a bit now. Better to drink the boiled water instead of fresh from the well. We need to stay hydrated'.

He offered her more but she declined, so the dish was placed down by the fire. He leaned his back against the wall and closed his eyes, enjoying the heat inside him while it lasted. He flinched, opening his eyes in surprise to see that Rey had placed her hand on his right knee and was closely inspecting his wound.

'Sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump, you look tired and I wanted to check for any signs of infection'.

He grinned at her. 'I think after all that has happened to us today we are allowed to be tired'.

'I suppose you're right,' she smiled at him with a scowl. 'would you like me to stitch up your wounds? I did it for myself on Jakku growing up. It's been a while since I've needed to use a needle to heal somebody but I think I've still got it'.

'If you have the tools, be my guest'.

'Luke keeps a needle and thread for emergencies. If we can just keep them together until we have enough combined strength to heal you they should be fine, but they've been left long enough already'.

She placed the pan back on the fire. Then, taking a small tin box from her blaster holster, pulled out a needle and thread. _This will be interesting without anaesthetic_, he thought. 'I think you should do my knee first, it's deeper than my shoulder wound'.

'Okay...' she replied, then hesitated.

'What is it?'

'I need to rinse them first before I begin stitching. Your trousers look quite tight, will you be able to roll up your leg?'

Ben looked down as if to inspect his legs, but already knew what she was getting at— they wouldn't roll up that far. He could rip them more, but then he would have to sleep in wet pants anyway. 'No, I'll take them off and cover up with a blanket... if that's okay with you?'

'Of course,' she returned with a slightly flushed face. 'I'll start sterilising the needle, let me know when you're ready'. She turned away and went to work, rinsing and refilling the dish with water, then setting it to cool.

He readied one of the blankets and took off his boots, followed by his trousers. Tucking the blanket around his underwear, he folded his pants, sat back in his place, and declared himself ready. Luckily the hut had begun to heat up nicely, and he stretched his good leg out towards the fire. 'Ready when you are'.

Rey finished sterilising the needle over the fire and rinsed it in the boiling water. She then approached him with the dish and got as comfortable as possible on the floor at his feet. Much to his surprise, she took the hem of the blanket which he'd sat about an inch above the wound, rolled it back to his mid thigh, and placed her hands around his leg. As he had done in the ship, he tried to focus on thoughts of a less appealing nature.

Ben's leg was warm, but not hot, which was a comfort to Rey. It meant that it wasn't infected yet, and the lack of swelling would make the job much easier for both of them. The seriousness of what she was preparing to do was a welcome distraction from Ben's long, bare legs extended before her. Never in her life had she been this intimate with _anybody_, and being this close to Ben's bare masculinity was doing confusing things to her own body.

'Right, I'm sure you know this is going to hurt, but I'll be as gentle as possible,' she said, looking up at him with empathy.

'I trust you,' he said, looking deep into her eyes, and showing her the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. _Get a grip_, she told herself, _you've got a job to do_. She took the dish of cooled water in one hand and poured some over the wound, washing away the rubble and dirt. She felt his leg tighten under her touch, but repeated the process twice more and refilled the dish to cool some more. Once the needle was threaded, she set to work. It was agony, not only to feel him physically hurting, but to sense his mental struggle too. It was no use telling him she was sorry, he already knew, so instead she tried to keep her mind clear and positive for him to feed off if he wanted to. By the last loop with the hooked needle his eyes were closed and his fists were clenched on the bench either side of him. Rey had nothing to cut the thread with, so before either of them could consider what she was doing, she placed her mouth to the wound and snapped the thread between her teeth. Ben opened his eyes at the change of sensation and unclenched his fists. 'Are you done?'

'On your leg, yes!' she enthused, still trying to project a positive aura for him. 'Your shoulder wound looks smaller, so that shouldn't take as long. I'll sterilise the needle again while you swap your trousers for your shirt,' she said, smirking. He gifted her with that smile again. As she turned away from him she cursed herself for being so ridiculous, but couldn't seem to prevent herself from grinning like an idiot.

Ben's knee throbbed as he stood, but it felt much more secure now. 'Is there's much water left? I'd like to clean the tear in my pants before I cover up your fine work,' he asked. She looked half way round, past her shoulder.

'Yes, I can do it after we're done if you don't mind not having them for a bit longer?'

'As long as you don't mind. It's warm enough in here now'.

'Of course'.

He sat back down with the blanket still covering his bottom half and pulled his shirt over his head. It snagged on his shoulder where the blood had fused it to his skin, making him wince. After folding and placing his shirt with his pants, he pushed back his hair and leaned into the wall. He had become incredibly hot while she had sewn his knee, and the cool stones felt refreshing to his aching skin. Rey turned back around and was stopped in her tracks. Ben could sense confusion emanating from her again. But what was more intense was the look of awe on her face that she couldn't or wasn't trying to hide.

When she turned back around, Rey almost dropped the tin of water down herself at the sight of his bare chest. He was leaning back onto the wall, his bare skin glowing in the firelight, his long hair pushed away from his face— something he had started doing since he turned to the light, and something which apparently made Rey weak at the knees. She had never seen anything like it. Nothing remotely close. She was attracted to him— it was like he had her in a force grip, only now she _wanted_ to be pulled nearer to him. Regaining her ability to function, she continued forward and reclaimed her place on the bench beside him. He sat forward once more, leaning his body over his legs this time, ready for her to flush out the wound. Rey saw his back, the imprinted pattern of the stones, the peaks and dips of the muscles beneath his skin. He turned to look at her, as if wondering what she was waiting for. _Get a bloody grip, you can do this_. She leaned forward and flushed the wound, pouring and wiping, then pushed him gently back into sitting up.

'You can lean back again if you like, get comfortable. It'll make you less tense'.

When Ben leaned back once more she tucked her legs up beneath her and began to work. Their faces were much closer this time and, instead of closing his eyes, he faced her throughout the whole process. His eyes focused on her hands, but flicked to her face every time the needle pierced his skin. Rey could feel them boring into her and was unable to shift the colour from her cheeks. She was less focused because of it, her mind constantly offering her flashbacks to that night of the force bond during which she had asked him to put something on. Right now she knew she could never force herself to suggest such a thing, that she could study his anatomy for hours without losing interest. Her eyes wandered from her busy hands down his torso, to his abdomen, just below which his enormous hands rested.

Ben jumped and let out a short, sharp cry, which snapped Rey out of her daydream.

'Oh! I'm sorry, are you alright?'

'Yeah you just went a little deep on that last one,' he exhaled into that smile again. Rey found his eyes and couldn't let go of them, until she saw his face begin to change, the smile shifting away into something more intense.

'Just one more thread to go and you're all set,' she said, breaking their gaze. She took it slower for the last one, reluctant to take her hands off him, to move her face away. When it came to its inevitable end she tied it off and moved her mouth to his shoulder to cut the excess thread, lingering this time with her lips against his skin. She heard him inhale deeply and looked up at him through her lashes. His face had become hardened, but flustered—just as it had in the elevator before he killed Snoke—his eyes focused on her lips. Rey was scared, but her fear was exceeded by an intense desire for his hands to be on her. And just like that, as if he had seen her desire written across her face, she felt his hand rest on her thigh. Her chest pounded so hard she was sure he must be able to hear it. He raised himself into an upright position and, in one swift movement, slid the hand of his newly sewn arm from her thigh around her back to pull her up into kneeling, and with his other arm pulled her right leg across his body. Rey found herself straddling Ben like he was some kind of human speeder.

Ben sat there for a moment, not quite sure what had come over him. Did he have no self-control whatsoever anymore? He was sure Rey wanted this as much as he did, but the look on her face was of pure terror. Ben, too, was terrified, but there was something more powerful driving him on that he seemed unable to ignore any longer. He didn't have a clue what to say, so instead he moved his hands to place one on each hip, and guided her down to sitting on his pelvis. This probably wasn't a good idea, but by this point he was embarrassed enough already. 'I—'

'Shh,' Rey stopped him, perhaps before he said something sad or ridiculous, he thought. 'Relax, it's okay,' she continued, although she couldn't seem to shift the blatant fear from her expression. She certainly didn't look relaxed herself; despite having her back to the fire, Ben could still see the rosie glow of her cheeks. Her eyes were wild, flitting across his face. Perhaps she was telling herself to relax. Her chest rose and fell as if she had just ran around the island. She looked like she might flee at any second; instead, however, she parted her knees further in order to sit into his lap more comfortably. During his swift maneuver she had reflexively gripped his upper arms for support. Now one hand went to his left shoulder, the other to his chest which beat as hard as her own. Ben took this as permission to lay his hands around her lower back, and leaned forward to kiss her. The force with which Rey returned his kiss shook him to the core. He could have screamed aloud with the internal and external pleasure she stimulated with her returned affection. There was no going back now as he felt the familiar pressure occurring below the blanket between them. There was no way she wouldn't feel it pressing between her legs. But it didn't matter anymore. He was acting on instinct, which felt as foreign to Ben after so many years of Kylo always being in control of himself and those around him. He had no idea what he was doing now, but neither did she, he was positive of that. His fingers clung to the clothes on her back in desperation as hers slipped around his neck and into his black mane. Finding her belt he stuck his thumbs under it and pulled her pelvis deeper into his.

As Rey lowered into Ben's lap she froze in alarm. Although she had an idea of what was going on beneath the blanket between them, she had never been anywhere near a man before. Now that she was straddling one she was making all kinds of discoveries, confirming things about human-male anatomy which she had always suspected. What she hadn't anticipated was the sensations her own body was experiencing at the slightest of touches. As Ben pulled her hard against him by her belt she almost cried out, but managed to suppress it to a whimper into his mouth. Rey felt his forearms snake around her back like he might constrict her, but they stopped at a gentle pressure, his hands resting on each side of her rib cage, encasing her until their bodies were flush together. The kiss deepened, their mouths moving against one another until Rey sensed a change in Ben's aura. It went from desire mixed with wonder and awe, to a bizarre combination of relief and fear. Rey slowed down to a stop, slowly detaching her mouth from his. As she pulled back she saw that his eyes were rimmed with tears. Her brows knitted as one spilled over his cheek.

'Ben?' she asked with concern. 'Are you OK?' searching him now for breaks in the stitches or other wounds she might have missed. He stopped her by catching her face in his hand, his palm against her cheek. She found his eyes again and was relieved to see that no more tears had fallen. 'Is something wrong?'

'Far from it,' he grinned, as if he were laughing at himself for being foolish.

'Something is bothering you, I can feel it. You can't hide from me, remember?' she smiled, but not fully. Her brows were still turned inwards.

Ben looked uncomfortable, but closed his eyes and released a sigh. 'I've waited for this. The way I feel about you has changed… so much… since I first saw you— I— I knew there was something, but I could never have imagined the degree of power you have over me now'. He gazed somewhere over Rey's shoulder. 'Every member of my family has fought to bring me back from the darkness, those who I loved, who loved me… But you're the only one to succeed. Now they're all gone because of me… and you're the only one left'. He looked up once again into her eyes. 'The only one that matters… the one who has always mattered the most'.

Rey stared at him, unable to respond. She opened her mouth as though to speak, but no words came out. Taking this as an opportunity, Ben continued.

'I told you once that you were nothing, but not to me,' he cringed as he repeated the words, as if they pained him. 'That was an awful thing to say, and I'm sorry for it. You're not nothing, and you never have been. But what I meant at the time, what Kylo meant, was that I need you. I'm not sure how to describe what you mean to me, but it's like you're my second half. When I thought you were gone I didn't know what I'd do if I couldn't get you back. If anything happened to you now I— I'm terrified of losing you… I— '

Rey stopped his mouth with a kiss. It was a passionate one, hungry. Not wanting to let go of him again, she channelled her mutual feelings to him. 'I feel it too. Together we are one.'

Sensing her message, Ben held her as fast as he could. Never before had he felt this way, and it was overwhelming. He was both tired and alive, his body thrumming, but also like he could drop at any moment. He could feel the exhaustion in Rey too. Not knowing what else to say without having any more embarrassing emotional outbursts, he reluctantly relaxed his grasp on her and leaned out of their kiss. 'I think we could both use some rest?'

Somehow she managed to appear both disappointed and relieved by the suggestion, replying, 'I think you might be right'. Before releasing him, Rey gave Ben one more kiss which seemed to suggest: _fine, but I'm not done with you yet_. She swung one leg back over to kneel beside him and gathered up all the blankets, beginning to make a bed around him on the bench.

'Stand up,' Rey directed, which he immediately did and stood back while she spread a blanket over the stone bench. She straightened up again and turned to see an illuminated Ben toasting his hands over the fire, the blanket wrapped around his hips. She was back in the force bond all over again, he standing there shirtless, only now the firelight was flicking all over his body, casting shadows across his chest and stomach muscles. His face was no longer as tightly drawn as it had been back then. Now he was relaxed. He looked calm. She stopped in her tracks, trying to figure out why his body had this effect on her. She had never felt anything like this around Finn or Poe when they would, for some reason unbeknown to Rey, randomly appear at her base quarters after hours with no shirt on, flexing, asking some stupid question or if she had seen something they'd lost.

'Are you alright?' Ben gently asked, snapping her out of her reverie. Before she could think of what to reply he had covered the three steps between them and placed his hands on her waist. Rey swallowed, looked away quickly, and nodded in response, feeling like a child who had been caught out. She felt his right hand leave her waist to cradle the side of her face and neck. His thumb brushed across her cheek bone to her ear lobe.

'Rest. Before we both drop', he smiled. He led her to the bench she had made and bid her to sit down. 'You take this one, I'll set up on the other'.

Rey sat and pulled up her knees, looking over at the other bench. From where she sat it seemed a light-year away. Suddenly she didn't want to be left alone and this made her feel pathetic. For the first time she was close to somebody who didn't make her recoil away. She couldn't escape Ben even if she wanted to, mentally at least. But she definitely didn't want to. She couldn't imagine her life after this if he walked away from her now. What would her purpose be? What would she crave in her loneliest moments? These thoughts rushed upon her all at once as she watched him walk away from her with the remaining blankets and make up a bed for himself.

Rey lowered herself down to lay on one side with her back to the wall and followed him with her eyes. She watched him place more logs on the fire, then settle down gently onto his makeshift bed, ensuring not to overstretch his newly stitched leg. He lay on his left, his head rested on his arm, searching the firelight for a while. Rey continued to watch him until fatigue took over, and she was lulled into a deep sleep by the crackling of the fresh wood.


	3. Chapter 3: Ben's Dream

_He was battered side to side by the warm winds whipping around the clearing as he raced towards the safety of the temple. As he distanced himself from the rubble of his sleeping quarters, Ben tried to sense any sign of his uncle. Was he dead? It seemed unlikely, but the force with which the roof had collapsed would have killed any regular being. Luke, however, he was not so sure of. _

_Ben felt the rage surging through him, fought off the threatening tears. Betrayal slashed at him as the sky began to change colour—from deep night-blue, to grey, to purple, then pink— finally glowing a bloody red. The winds appeared to be stirring the clouds over the temple towards which he still ran. He was then halted in his tracks by the mass of storm clouds which had gathered high above its domed roof. It no longer seemed so safe a place to be. Ben stood, whipping around on the spot, searching for a place to hide from both the storm and his changed uncle, should he be coming after him. Lightning began to shoot down onto the trees bordering the open space, before a blinding bolt came crashing down onto the peak of the temple roof. Cracks of orange light shot down its walls like lava, before a thrumming pause anticipated the explosion which shot Ben backwards through the air. He came crashing down on the dried-solid earth which beat the wind from his lungs. Regaining his senses, he opened his tear-rimmed eyes to see the temple ablaze like nothing he had ever seen before. The thrum and crackle of the blaze roared in his ears as he laid outstretched on the ground. Then, before he had a chance to scream, Luke's face appeared above him, illuminated half green by his lightsaber, shadowed with the red of the sky. Ben shot bolt upright as the blade was thrust into his face_.

Rey, sitting up straight in her bed, was glaring at Ben through the dim light of the hut. They both sat mirroring one another, panting, shivering. The fire had reduced to a low glow now, and from outside the distant glow of sunrise crept in through the hole in the side of the roof and around the edges of the makeshift door.

'You didn't do it? It wasn't you who killed the other Jedi'.

Ben looked down on himself, avoiding her gaze.

'I know that was just a nightmare, Ben, but I can tell, I can sense it in you now. Yet you still feel guilty… why?' Rey needed to know. She had been lied to all this time, perhaps not intentionally, but she had been led to understand that Kylo Ren had murdered those young students. She waited, but he said nothing. 'Ben!'

'No', he snapped. But then he appeared to regret it and relaxed back onto his arms with a sigh. 'No, I didn't. I never wanted anybody to think otherwise before,' he said as he looked back into her eyes from across the room. 'Now I want the whole galaxy to know that I didn't do it. How could I have? That temple meant everything to me… It became my home'.

'But Luke didn't—'

'No, that's just how I wake up sometimes'. He smiled at having acknowledged this out loud, then glanced away, looking somewhere between embarrassed and exhausted.

They both shivered again in unison. Rey wrapped her blanket around her and got up to stoke the fire, adding more wood to the rekindled flame. Instead of returning to her own place she walked around the fire towards Ben, much to his surprise, and perched on the side of his stone bench. He moved closer to the wall to provide her with some space, but she only shuffled in further towards him and drew up her legs.

'It's cold… do you mind?' she asked, rather matter-of-factly.

'Of course—,' he stammered as he tried to shuffle even further into the wall. All the confidence he'd had the night before was now nowhere to be seen. Rey removed her boots and leant over the edge of their bed to place them on the ground. As she rose again she was slightly startled by Ben pulling another blanket up around her whole person. 'Here, lay down,' he said shyly, as he gently tucked it in all the way down around her, finally getting to her socks which were now poking out, her toes curled inside them. Rey watched him stop and look at them, suddenly paranoid about her feet. She was about to ask him what was wrong, but then he snapped out of his trance and continued to grab another blanket and place it over them, once again tucking tightly.

Every movement he made could be seen in his back. Rey laid there, mesmerised by the shifting pattern of firelight across his muscles just as she had been before their surrender to sleep. But then he turned to face her, lying down on his side. _An even better view_, she thought, amazed at this perverse new path her thoughts kept exploring.

Ben internally cursed himself for being weak enough to have had that dream when she was so close. _I mean, it's not the worst one I could've had… _he remembered. She had sensed it then. Had she looked in on purpose or was dream sharing a consequence of them sleeping together? Ben blushed. Sleeping together. How in the galaxy was it possible for his life to have changed so massively in a single day? He once again considered the hold the dark side must have had on him, on Kylo Ren.

At one time in his life being force sensitive was the only thing he had. It made him stand out from the crowd, it united him with his mother—perhaps distanced him slightly from his father—and he seemed to be better at general things than other kids. Later, he even stood out against the other Jedi students. Now it seemed more of a curse. The only thing he didn't regret using the force for was bringing Rey back to life. If it hadn't worked he might have used it to throw himself back into that pit. Their bond was a strange thing. He had always been a survivalist, living his life to the fullest, and never considered himself even remotely suicidal, but there was something which locked him to Rey. Something which meant he needed to follow her. _Does she feel the same pull? _he had frequently found himself wondering. He settled down beside her, deep in thought, his body rigid.

'Is everything alright? I can go back to mine if—'

'Please—' he saw her about to sit up and prevented her by wrapping his arm over her waist. She froze, eyes wide, but they immediately softened into a smile which touched her eyes. With that, she turned away towards the fire and shuffled backwards into him so he had no choice but to play the big spoon.

The sheer bliss of having her there was beyond his comprehension, and for a moment he thought his eyes might be welling up. But there was a high level of comfort and calmness that dimmed his emotions into what felt like the first throws of sleep. Ben allowed himself to sink into the curve of her back, his arm draped around her waist, distantly wondering if he had ever been this much at ease in his life.

In front of Ben laid Rey, feeling as equally safe in his arms as he did holding her, and took advantage of her hidden face by smiling from ear to ear until a more promising sleep than before embraced the two of them together.


	4. Chapter 4: Journey to Ajan Kloss

A strip of white light warmed Rey's cheeks as she prised her eyelids apart. Half asleep, she scanned the space before her. The fire was just a tiny glow of embers now, and beams of brilliant sunshine crept in through the stone walls arching above, illuminating dust motes, casting an alternate setting to the firelight of the night before.  
Her entire body was stiff, set in the curled position she had fallen asleep in. She began to stretch before remembering the giant man wrapped around her. The memory of the previous evening forced a smile upon her face that she couldn't hold back. Rey closed her eyes again and backed further into his warmth.

A chill ran through Ben's body as a slight draught blew across his exposed arm. Reflexively he hugged his pillow to him and tucked his legs up tighter beneath it. He laid with his eyes closed, recalibrating, trying to regain his senses while remarking to himself what an unusually deep and restful sleep he'd had. Suddenly his pillow exhaled, and a flood of memories of the day before jolted him awake.  
The delicate form before him showed no signs of consciousness. Apprehensive about waking her up he remained as still as possible, cocooning her entire back from head to toe. He felt her socks tucked up against his shins, her hair against the bridge of his nose, the curve of her side beneath the crook of his arm, his hand holding onto her rib cage. This sudden awareness of his hand made him reflexively caress her tunic. Simultaneously as he did so, he noticed the pressure between his pelvis and her behind, and cursed himself back to that pit on Exogol for being such an idiot. But it was too late. The movement of his hand had either woken Rey, or at least confirmed to her that he was awake, so now he had no time to make it disappear, to make an excuse for what was pressing against her.

Rey blushed hard as she was tugged backwards by her middle into Ben's arms. He squeezed her, sleepily nuzzling his face into the back of her neck. She also became aware of that familiar pressure which had risen between them the night before as they had kissed, this time in her backside. This perplexed her even further, and further more as he then began to caress her just below the chest, before freezing.

'Good morning,' she whispered, unable to handle the silence, 'you must have slept well, I didn't receive any more wake-up calls'. Ben's grip around her middle slackened, and Rey couldn't help but feel a little robbed as he pulled his body away from her, cool air rushing into the space between them.

'I did,' he murmured back, sounding much closer to her ear than he felt. She shuddered slightly as a tingle ran from the back of her neck down through her body. 'Are you cold?' he said as he pulled the blanket tighter around her. 'I'll build the fire up'.  
Rey looked over her shoulder and caught a glimpse of his black underwear before he quickly wrapped his blanket around his waist and stepped over her down onto the floor towards the centre of the room.

'Be careful, your—', she began. But as he turned around to face her she could see clearly that his shoulder and knee had entirely healed, with only faint scars to indicate his near-death experiences the day before. Following her eyes he looked down his right side and smiled.

'Looks like I'm all patched up. How are you feeling?' he asked as he stacked the last of the wood in the ash pit, but focusing all his attention on her eyes instead of his task.  
Rey thought for a moment, taking notice of her own body for the first time. She felt fine. More than fine. She felt great. That had been the deepest sleep she had experienced in a long time. Possibly ever. But that was no surprise, given what she had been through the day before.

'Much better,' she grinned, propping herself up on one elbow to watch him. 'I think I could use some more rest from the force though. Hopefully I won't be needing to save your life at any point today'.  
He laughed as he stood up and began to dress. Rey's grin disappeared.

'Hopefully not. But we'll see what happens when we get to Ajan Kloss,' he replied over his shoulder.  
Rey's mood shifted. Her anxiousness to return to the Rebel base rose in her with an underlying bitterness and lowered her newly discovered spirits. She was anxious to be reunited with her friends, to be able to rest in comfort for a while. She also looked forward to eating some proper food again. But knowing there would be some kind of inevitable altercation started by Finn or Poe was off putting to say the least. A weary frown had replaced her smile unnoticed. But not by Ben. He pulled on his shirt and walked back to the bed, kneeling down before Rey. His closeness snapped her out of her negative thoughts.

'You need to go back,' he said

'And I will. We will.'

'I don't mind waiting—'

'No. I'm not leaving you here. You have to come with me. I'll explain everything to them… I won't let anybody hurt you.' Rey kept telling herself that he had to come with her to set things straight right away, that she was no coward when it came to her friends. This was true. She could brave the wrath of her friends, no problem. But the thought of being torn apart from Ben Solo so soon was a different matter.

'What a relief! There I was, scared you were going to let Poe Dameron tear me a new one,' he scoffed.  
Rey smirked, 'I'm sure Poe would love nothing more'. She thought about those who might be more easily swayed. Chewy could be brought around eventually, he knew Ben before— and most of the more mature, level headed Rebels, they would come to see. But Poe and Finn. They were going to be tough nuts to crack, she just knew it. Although she and Ben would clearly not be in any danger, being two of the strongest forces in the galaxy, together perhaps even the strongest, it would take some time for her to persuade the guys that Kylo Ren was gone.

'I'm going to get some more water' Ben said as he pulled on his boots, solid black like the rest of his clothes. There was a great contrast between the pale blankets and bare skin to which she had grown accustomed, and the dark angular shape he now cast in his dishevelled First Order uniform. A fleeting image of him dressed in the sort of clothes that Poe and Finn wore — Something that his father might have worn — passed through Rey's imagination. It cast an entirely different image to the dark figure who had haunted her thoughts day and night for the past year, and the one that stood before her at that very moment.

Ben picked up the flask and emptied what was left into the pan, placing it over the flames. As he turned to the door a tingle on the back of his neck caused him to glance back at Rey. She was studying him from head to foot, as if she were an engineer studying a blueprint, considering inconvenient yet necessary changes.

'What are you doing?'

'Wha—?' she blinked, somewhat startled from her ogling.

'You were giving off a… uh, a something,' he mumbled, feeling stupid for not being able to figure it out. 'It felt like you were studying me, but not necessarily in… a good way?' He watched her hesitate, feeling slightly less embarrassed as he noticed her cheeks bloom with colour.

'I was just thinking— well— I've never seen you in clothes that aren't entirely black,' she finally blurted, smirking her way through the awkwardness. 'And I was wondering whether you will continue to do so now you've abandoned the dark side and the First Order'.  
This took him by surprise. The question was fair enough, quite amusing if anything, but it brought things he hadn't had time to consider to the forefront of his mind. He frowned, not knowing what to say.

'Uh… I'll be back in a few minutes. You must be hungry'. With this, Ben drew the makeshift door aside and strode out of the hut. A trip to the well would give him some time to think of something to say.  
The sunshine was dazzling after the gloom of the hut. He stopped at the top of the steps, inhaled the salty air, and scanned the landscape around him. On the horizon the sea and sky were almost indistinguishable from one another, the morning light twinkling on the calm water. He could hear the high tide lapping against the rocks below, the chatter of porgs as they busied themselves in their nests on the cliffs. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

Yesterday he had been Supreme Leader of the First Order, hell-bent on ruling the galaxy with Rey willingly standing by his side, his dark princess. That, however, had just been a vision. A distant fantasy. Instead they had fought and fought, she not holding back, Kylo fighting passionately for his cause but holding back out of fear of hurting her. He had almost died and been brought back to life twice. She had done that: made the conscious decision that he was worthy of saving. Rey was the purest soul he'd ever met. This landscape matched her perfectly. Pure and light, but also with the potential to be harsh and unpredictable. It was solitary. Beautiful.

He shook his head, pushing away the image of Rey sitting across his lap which had sprung forth before him, and began descending the steps in the direction of the well, gripping the flask perhaps a little tighter than necessary. Ben's thoughts returned to their last conversation._ Now that you've abandoned the dark side and the First Order_... There was no question he had abandoned the dark side, but had he abandoned his position at the head of the First Order? As far as they knew— at least those who were left— Kylo Ren had simply disappeared off the grid for a day, or been killed in the fight against the Rebels. He could just as easily return and take over as usual.  
But things were different now, he admitted to himself. For some time it had been less about ruling the galaxy, and in the end he was almost entirely focused on having Rey to himself, no matter what he had to sacrifice. It turns out it was his _mother's _sacrifice that would save him, allowing Rey to see who he really was. He couldn't care less about the fate of the galaxy now. He only wanted to make Rey happy. If she decided to take over and set every planet in the system aflame he would follow her in an instant, and this terrified him. But he knew that she was too good, too kind and loyal to herself, her friends, and any creature she came across to ever crave destruction. She'd had the epitome of evil standing before her the previous day, and Ben had sensed, as it happened, the regret she felt in destroying Palpatine.

Ben reached the stone well and dragged aside it's cover, feeling the cold air rush across his face as he hovered it above the darkness. _Why do my thoughts keep returning to Rey? I'm trying to consider my future and all I see is her! _Frustrated with himself, he wondered whether she thought of him this much, whether she was thinking of him right now. As his arms worked at lowering the bucket deep below the ground, he sensed her aura in the force like a hound picking up a scent on the breeze. He felt the same way he always did when she appeared before him, whether in person or through the force bond: excited, relieved, but a little afraid. It was different this time, knowing she was right behind him at the top of the stony hill. Despite all his internal seething at being helplessly under her spell, he suddenly couldn't wait to be back in that hut. He quickened his pace with the bucket, bringing it back up full of ice cold water which sloshed over in his haste to fill the flask. When it was full he cupped the remaining water in his hands and splashed his face. As he closed his eyes and scrubbed, trying to rinse away yesterday's blood and dirt, Rey's outline appeared before him, bringing with it a wave of mild guilt and embarrassment. Did these feelings belong to Rey? What could she possibly feel guilty about? He left the well as he had found it, hugged the flask to his chest, and jogged back up the hill two steps at a time, determined to discover what was running through her mind.

Rey sat upright, cross-legged on the bench, watching the blanket drift in and out of the door frame. What had she just implied? Her desired approach so far had been to remain honest and vocal, because if he wanted to find something out he could simply dive straight into her thoughts while she was at her most vulnerable. In her head, the question of his clothes hadn't seemed ridiculous at all. But after his response and abrupt exit she realised that her comments naturally raised further questions about his current loyalties: where he would go, who would he be— and who with? Her question just then suggested she had made assumptions about his future, and she felt guilty that he'd had to run away to avoid it. Although sometimes she felt she knew him inside out, Ben was, in reality, a complete stranger to Rey. She knew his backstory, his abandonment, his reasons for turning to the dark. But she knew nothing about Ben. What had been going through his mind just now as he left in a fluster? Perhaps he hadn't even registered her question, and just really wanted to get some food in him. Or maybe he just needed a break from her.

Rey sat there for a moment, weighing up whether she should or not. Could she even do it without him noticing? _One small look won't hurt, he probably won't even notice if I'm careful__… _she told herself as she closed her eyes, preparing to listen to his thoughts, and quickly located him in the force. Ben's aura really was like a breath of fresh air after the persistent misery of Kylo. There was still a solemnity about him, as well as the playfulness she often thought she had seen behind Kylo's hatred. But now there seemed to be less hurt. Less threat.

Rey could feel the cool sea air on his face, a feeling distinct to this planet made up of wild, open ocean. She felt the guilt creep back, and was about to tune out until she heard him thinking about her. _Intensely _thinking about her. About why he couldn't _stop_ thinking about her. Then an ice-cold rush came up to her face and she was snapped out of the bond. _What am I doing!?_ She cursed herself for being so intrusive, for ever thinking it was okay to pry into somebody's thoughts like that. That was the first and last time she would use the force for such a selfish, base reason. She jumped up from the bench and sped to the door with the intention of immediately apologising for the last thing she had said to him, perhaps even for what she had just done, but as she reached the hanging blanket it lifted aside. Blinded by bright light, she rushed head-long into the black wall that was Ben Solo.

As Rey tumbled backwards she felt a tug on her entire body, which kept her levitated at a forty-five degree angle from the floor. Held fast in this position she could only follow Ben with her eyes as he walked out of the light, placed the flask beside the fire, and stooped by her side. Having positioned his arms just beneath her, he let Rey drop into them, but instead of placing her upright he stood up, lifting her far above the ground. Rey felt weightless in his arms, feeble and helpless for the first time in her life. She didn't like it, but knew she would like it less if he put her down.

The weight of Rey in his arms took Ben back to their first meeting. The girl he'd heard so much about. He had suspended her in the forest on Takodana before lifting her into his ship. He hadn't known the full extent of their connection then, but still the press of her body against his had sent a strange new thrill coursing through him. A sensation that would revisit him each time they touched. It was no different now. His pulse beat in his ears, his chest expanded, he felt sick, but it was an addictive sensation. She hadn't broken eye contact with him since he caught a hold of her with the force. Would he ever get used to her eyes sparkling up at him from below? Not likely. It seemed too good to be true, like this couldn't last. He didn't deserve her.

'I'm sorry,' Rey blurted, taking him by surprise. 'For what I said. I don't want to assume you're going to— I mean— don't feel like you have to—'

'What?' he asked, hearing the exasperation in her voice. She looked away for the first time to frown at her legs which she gently kicked as they dangled over his forearm. He wouldn't put her down until she asked him to.

'I feel like I've upset you,' she said tenderly. Was that a _pout_? Ben smiled inwardly and wondered how best to assure her without seeming too intense, but he was cut off before he could even open his mouth.

'I also used the force while you were outside to see your thoughts'.

'What!?' Ok, so this changed things. He dropped her bottom half and she landed on her feet with a dusty thud.

'I'm sorry! It was the first time and I promise I will never do it again, please, I can't believe I—'

'You heard my thoughts down by the well?' He wanted to test the water first. She might not have come across anything of interest before the guilt took over.

'Yes, but I wasn't in there for long… I— I was coming to apologise'.

She stood before him now like she had done in the elevator all that time ago, blinking up at him while he tried not to kiss her and make a fool of himself. The pot behind him bubbled. Thankful for the distraction, he dragged himself away from Rey's face and began adding the contents of the flask. It was now his turn to be embarrassed.

'Please, Ben, I don't know what to say. How can I show you how sorry I am?'  
His eyes widened at the involuntary images which flashed through his mind. He shook his head and rose to face her before she had a chance to invade his thoughts again.

'I'm not angry... At least not at you. I mean I'd prefer it if you kept out of my thoughts, but lately they're mostly along the same lines as the ones you caught today—' he saw her face gently contort with embarrassment and stopped himself from going into any descriptions. 'I'm just a little frustrated with myself right now. It's a confusing time. So much has happened'.

'It'll never happen again,' she said, catching his hand and rubbing the back of it with her thumb as he turned back to the cooking pot. Before he had time to react she had already let go and was on her way to the door.

'I'll be back for breakfast,' she said with a smile as he watched her leave over his shoulder.

Rey lingered at the well slightly longer than she needed to, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the breeze in her hair, allowing it to blow the heat from her face after her last encounter. Honesty was definitely the best policy, she decided. _If only he could be as free with me_. After filling a bucket she carried it to an unoccupied hut close by, in which she quickly rinsed the Exegol dirt from her body. The cold water was a welcome refreshment at first, but by the time she had re-clothed she was shivering. Being alone once more allowed Rey to concentrate on the plan for getting back to Ajan Kloss. Perhaps it was the clarity of being away from Ben that enabled her to calculate roughly how long they had until sunset on Ajan. Not long at all. Would they even make it in time if they set off now? Any chance of getting Poe and Finn to welcome Ben with open arms was speeding off into the distance.

She smoothed the wisps of her hair flat and tugged her shoes back on before jogging back to Ben via the well. Down the hill she could see the local keepers going about their chores around the island and remembered the first force bond. She had blasted a hole in her hut thinking it was Kylo Ren. How glad she was now that it hadn't hit Ben. He had been so calm and never tried to hurt her, he had asked for her to bring Luke Skywalker to him. That was all. And not that she would ever admit it to anybody, but Rey was sure he had held back more than once during their lightsaber battles to avoid killing her. It always felt more like fighting with a master, a teacher, like he put his full force against her, but would have stopped if she had, because he enjoyed their sparring, and without her he would have no match.

She entered the hut to the smell of food and saw Ben sitting on the bench holding his mother's lightsaber which illuminated his face in a wash of blue light as it had on Exegol. He flicked it off as she appeared, but the pained expression was still visible in his face. He placed it down beside him, picked up the portion loaf, and handed it to Rey.

'You could have started without me,' she said softly, taking it from him, sensing his sadness. She stood for a moment, looking down at the dish in her hands. 'You know she never stopped fighting for you? Wherever Leia is now she still loves you. She will always be there when you need her'.  
She moved to sit beside him as he leaned forward, elbows on knees. She divided the loaf, once again giving him the larger piece. He broke it in two and stared ahead. Rey curiously watched him as she ate, cross legged by his side. She jumped slightly as he sat back and looked her in the face, her cheeks full of food. She gulped. He laughed. She turned red.

Ben saw her face turn colour and thought he had better look away again, but couldn't seem to manage it. Instead he kept looking, but began eating himself to appear more casual. He freed his left hand first so that he could touch her thigh comfortingly, but this only deepened the colour in her cheeks. He left it there anyway and gently squeezed it, his fingers almost wrapping around. He kept it here until he had finished eating, which didn't take long at all.

'I saw my father'.

Rey raised her eyebrows, swallowing her last mouthful. 'Whe— How?'

'On the wrecked Death Star, after our— after you healed me. I don't know whether it was just a memory or…' he paused, gripping her now. 'I think my mother…' Ben's body shook.

Rey's instinct took over. She leapt forward and threw her arms around him. He quickly rotated and caught her round the middle, wrapping her up in his arms. It was a strange moment for both of them. A release for Ben. A softening of Rey. For a short time he wept into her shoulder, and his heaving chest allowed her to cry her own tears for Han and Leia, the closest people to parents she had ever known, and for the terrible hatred Ben would always hold towards the part of himself that killed his parents.

As soon as he felt he could look at her without trembling, Ben pulled away from Rey's neck. They looked into each other's puffy eyes, their faces streaked with tears, and both broke into a smile.  
Rey shuffled uncomfortably, not wanting to ruin the moment. 'I hate to say this, but we're going to have to set off soon if we want to get to Ajan Kloss before dusk'.  
Ben gave a mock groan and pushed his face back into her shoulder. The feeling of Rey's body as she laughed in his arms sent a wave of butterflies to his stomach. This humour between them didn't last long, however, as they both knew how dangerous their arrival would be.

'We better clear up then,' he said, letting go. 'Wouldn't want the locals to hate you any more than they do already, just in case we need to come hide out again'.

Rey laughed and began dampening the fire. They both hydrated with the remaining water in the pot, and after folding the blankets and replacing everything back to where they had found it, headed back to the X-Wing.

They walked in silence side by side, both thinking about the last time they made this trek. Ben considered the rapidity with which his body had healed overnight. He looked over at Rey, recalling how they could barely walk the previous evening, but she had helped to heal them both. In fact, he couldn't remember ever feeling this revitalised. It was as though being with her completed him. Made him a better person. He caught her eye and they both smiled at one another until she looked away bashfully. As they approached the final hill up to the ship she jogged ahead of him. Ben took this as excitement to return to her friends, and this made him nervous. What if they refused to accept him? He could always leave, it would be no issue to lay low here or elsewhere for a while, but would Rey follow? Or would she choose her friends?  
Rey unlocked the ship as he caught up. 'Come on then, hop in,' she laughed, loose wisps of hair blowing about her face in the coastal breeze.  
He obeyed her command and settled into the single seat.

'Are you comfortable?' she called up.

'For now,' he teased. 'In you get!'  
Ben's heart began to beat a little faster knowing she was about to be back in his arms. _But for how long?_ She climbed up into the cockpit and sat across his lap, accompanied by the scent of fresh grass and clean air.

'Is this okay?' she asked, looking prepared to shift her weight but unsure where to go.

'Perfect'. He said, looking into her eyes as he tugged down the hatch. The space seemed a lot bigger than it had the day before. Ben couldn't help it. He wound his arms around her, pulling her closer, and kissed her gently. She kissed back, and in that moment everything felt right. As it should have been all along. Like nobody else in the galaxy mattered because they were two that had finally become one. Ben pulled back to look at her again.

'If this goes south and they refuse to have me—' Rey was about to interject, but he stopped her. 'I just want to say that I understand your loyalty lies with them, and that I don't expect you to—'

'Stop, no. I will be the first to admit they are going to need some time to come round to the idea— to be able to trust you… But they are good people. All of them. And they all know I can read minds too, so I'm your best advocate!' she grinned at him reassuringly. 'But Ben, if they make me choose… I will be leaving with you'.  
Ben didn't know what to say. He knew what he _wanted_ to say, but couldn't find the strength. Instead he kissed her again. Deeper this time, and she returned it with urgency.

'Are you ready?' whispered Rey, when they both eventually found the will to let go. 'Let's get this over with. It'll be a long one'.

By the time Ben had carried them safely to the Outer Rim territories Rey had fallen asleep against his chest. For the first half of the journey she had spoken to him of her childhood on Jakku, the earliest place she could remember, and some of the close calls she had been involved in growing up alone. She had asked him about his past, where he grew up, what he remembered of his parents, some of which stung him, but it was pleasant to recall a time before being sent to Luke's Jedi Temple. If only he could go back and start again. But his life had a new meaning now. It was to protect the girl who now sleepily rested her head on his shoulder. She was the first person he had trusted since Luke. She was the first person to ever trust him.  
He woke her as they reached the Cademimu sector. She needed to contact Dameron and warn him of their approach.

Rey opened her eyes after what felt like an entire day. She groggily sat upright and glared at Ben. He couldn't refrain from laughing.

'Note to self, never wake you from a nap. We should be close enough for you to contact them now'.

'Uuugh!' she groaned as she reached down for the helmet. 'Can't you do it?'

'Somehow I don't think it will go down as well if they hear my voice first…'

Rey grinned briefly, but this was immediately replaced by a knitted brow. 'It's not working… Ben it's not coming on.'  
'Relax, the powercell has probably just been dislodged. Pop open the right ACR panel and give it a shimmy'.  
He heard Rey follow his instructions, keeping his eyes on the space route ahead.

'Ben…'

He looked down at the helmet in her hands. The space that should have contained the power pack was just a small puddle of slightly steaming goo.

'Okay, close it back up... like right now,' he said quickly, watching her fumble with it in his peripheral vision. 'Guessing we don't have a "Plan B"?'

'Why, why, whyyy!' she moaned exasperatedly through her fingers.

'We could just mind control everyone who approaches the ship one by one?' he joked, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't help.

'I should have just told him yesterday! Why didn't I just tell him yesterday? Now it's after dark so they'll already be pissed off, and when they see you it's going to be like running into the Battle of Jabiim'.He laughed aloud at the thought of them charging at him, blasters in hand.

'It's not funny, Ben! I really want this to go smoothly. I'm so tired of fighting'.

'Me too! Hey, I'm sorry. Let's just see what happens. We can keep the X-Wing locked until they calm down, okay? Switch the tracker back on now, they'll see you're almost back' he smiled. She didn't return it, but she had at least stopped shouting at him. 'Come on then, it's your turn to drive'.

Rey sat upright and took the controls as she had done before directing them to Ahch-to. She enjoyed sitting in this position, looking down at her legs dangling between his which made them look tiny. It made her feel better. More in control of the situation she was in. She took them towards the gas giant, Ajara, dodging the dangerous radioactive atmospheres which surrounded it, and around to its little jungle moon, Ajan Kloss.  
Entering the atmosphere sent flutters throughout Rey. How should she approach this? Should she plan something disarming to say? What intensified her nerves was Ben's aura: calm and collected, but underlined with a readiness to fight. There was nothing for it. She must simply wait and see, and hope that the rebels didn't put Ben and herself in a position where they must defend themselves.

The moon was in darkness now, and had been for well over an hour. Rey located the area of mountainous jungle, which was usually kept in darkness to avoid detection from First Order scouts and allies that might pass. Now it was illuminated, visible from high above. Fires were dotted about the hills too, she assumed they belonged to welcome Rebel allies visiting after the battle. She honed in on the base's main landing platform which had been left clear for her arrival, now lined with several tiny figures awaiting her descent.

'Here we go,' she murmured, her voice quivering with a mixture of eagerness to see her friends, and fear that they wouldn't be her friends for much longer.

'Don't worry, we're in this together,' said Ben, before kissing the back of her shoulder through her tunic and placing his hand over hers on the steering.

The X-Wing came down with a soft lurch. It felt good to be on solid ground again, but for how long? There wasn't enough fuel in the fighter to get them far if things turned nasty. Rey looked over at the familiar faces standing around the platform at a distance. They were armed, their faces full of confusion and doubt.

'What's wrong with them? They can't have seen me yet, surely?' asked Ben.

'No idea. I don't like this'. Rey touched her fingers to the lightsaber hilts on her belt for comfort. She trusted these people, but a lot was about to change.

As she raised her hand to lift the hatch, Finn came running through the wall of people shouting her name as he had done the last time she saw him on Kef Bir. He held a raised blaster towards the fighter. Poe appeared behind him, a hand on his own blaster, only his remained in its holster.

'Finn, what are you doing?' shouted Rey through the hatch, which for now she left securely fastened.

'Where is he? What has he done to you? Kylo Ren I know you're here!' he screamed irrationally, looking around the ship as if he might be hiding in one of the engines.

Rey was perplexed. If Finn couldn't see him how did he know he was there?

'Finn stop, I'm fine! What's going on?'

'Rey, I can sense him, he's close by. Are you hurt? Is he manipulating you?'

Ben scoffed behind her.

'Put your blaster away, Finn we need to talk. I promise everything will be fine. Everybody is safe, just let me get out of the ship. Poe! Tell him to put it down.'

Poe stepped forward and lowered Finn's arm. 'Rey, it's great to see you, but you're late. We were worried. And, uh... Finn is force-sensitive now, apparently'.

'Oh no,' uttered Rey. 'Anybody but Finn.'

Ben was refraining laughter now, his whole body shaking beneath her.

'I'm coming out. Don't shoot please! We can explain everything if you give us a chance!'

'We!?' said Finn, placing his hand back on his weapon. The others each shuffled and looked at one another in alarm. Poe frowned, tilting his head.

'Please, don't do anything you'll regret, Finn. For me, please. Ben is here.'

'Ren?' said Poe in disbelief.

'BEN!' pronounced Rey as she lifted the hatch slowly.

'Who the kriff is Ben!?' Poe returned.

'Ben Solo!' Shouted Finn. He pushed past Poe and shot his blaster twice in the direction of Ben.

'NO!' screamed Rey, but Ben was prepared. He caught them in mid-air before they reached the ship. The two quivering beams of green light halted for a second, before being thrust into the ground below, leaving two black, smoking patches on the permacrete. 'Have you lost your mind, Finn!? You could have killed _me_! Poe, take that thing off him.'

'Is it true, Rey, is Kylo Ren with you?' Poe asked, warily, his usual playful confidence gone from his voice.

'No. Kylo Ren is dead. _Ben Solo_ is here. If you let us come out we— or I— can explain. Just please put your weapons away, you know I would never hurt any of you'.

'I'm sorry Rey but we can't just allow our enemy, the Supreme Leader of the First Order of all people, to just step onto our base like nothing has happened—'

'Please, Poe—'  
'No, Rey! What the hell were you thinking bringing him here? In fact, how the hell did you both get here in a ship built for a single—?' This question seemed to answer itself in his imagination and he drifted off, distracted.

Rey had had enough. She swung her legs over the side of the cockpit and slid down the side. Finn ran towards her but she stopped him in his tracks.

'Whoa, no, I'm not done with you yet. Who do you think you are, shooting at me—'

'Rey, I—'

'No! You stay where you are. And since _when_ have you been sensitive to the force? '

'I've tried to tell you but there has been no time—'

'No time? It doesn't take long— Poe just blurted it out for you in under three seconds! And you—' she began, turning back to Poe, but was interrupted by the sight of Chewie cutting through the crowd. At first he looked happy to see her, until he caught sight of Ben sitting in the ship. He gurgled a war cry over Rey's shoulder and looked about him for a weapon.

'Chewie, no, wait! He's turned!`  
He wailed back at her in response.

'No, it's not too late, he saved my life, he saved all our lives. None of us would be here now if he hadn't helped me defeat Palpatine. He gave his life for me. Like Leia did for him. He is good.'

'He's a war criminal, Rey! He's murdered too many souls in this galaxy to count! Destroyed entire planets, and now you've brought him to our one secure place,' cried Poe.

'This is the same man who yesterday tried to kill you on Kef Bir. I was there, Rey, I saw everything,' said Finn.  
Rey stood exasperated before the ship. 'If you would just hear us out. There is so much you don't know…'

Everybody was quiet for a moment. Rey tried to figure out how to change their minds without brain washing each and every one of them. She looked around at their faces. Finn, Poe, Chewie, C3PO, BB-8, Maz, Lando, and a handful of others who had made the effort to come out, expecting to welcome her with smiling faces, but who now looked upon her as the bad guy. Was Rey the enemy now?  
Poe stepped forward. 'Okay,' he said. 'I'm prepared to listen to what you have to say—'

'Hey—!' began Finn.

'But! Only if _Ben Solo _comes along quietly. As a prisoner'.

Rey half laughed in disbelief. 'Don't be ridiculous, what's the point—'

'Ah, ah, ah, no Rey, if he's coming into our base it's as our enemy, until proven otherwise'.

'Wait—'

'Fine,' said Ben, cutting her off. 'How do you want to do this? Shall I get out of the ship, or…?`

'Ben, no, this isn't fair—'

'Remove yourself from the vehicle slowly and keep your hands where I can see them!'

'It's okay, Rey,' he said as he lowered himself over the edge of the fighter. 'They're right to be doing this, and they're right about the past. I can't change it,' he turned to Poe, who had somehow produced a set of binder cuffs, and held his wrists together in front of him. Poe approached Ben carefully, fully aware of the height difference between himself and the towering dark figure before him.

Rey stood aside, gobsmacked. What was this whole show for? Ben could be out of those cuffs and have torn the whole base to the ground in under a minute if he wanted to. Everybody here knew it. _Men_, was Rey's conclusive thought.

'Now what are you going to do with him? Lock him up?'

'Good idea!' smiled Poe, looking incredibly pleased with himself. 'And you're coming with me, so you can tell me all about your little adventures with your new friend here!`

Ben caught Rey' s eye and winked. She couldn't prevent her lips from twitching into a smile. She stood aside to let Ben and Poe pass towards the cells, which until now had been used for nothing but storage, and followed closely behind them.

'Welcome back, Rey'.

She turned to see Finn looking at her like a wounded puppy. Sighing, she walked towards him and let him scoop her in a tight embrace.

'We were so worried when you weren't back,' Finn muffled into her shoulder.

'I miscalculated the time difference. But you can thank the X-Wing's busted ComTech for the lack of warning. I'll have to see to that'.

'There's no need for that just yet, you're not going anywhere for a while,' he smiled, throwing his arm around her shoulder as they followed Poe and his captive.  
Rey nodded at the crowd of on-looking friends as she passed by. They each acknowledged her with a smile in return, but nobody was sure enough to approach. BB-8 came rolling after her though, followed by D-O who had been creeping in the back. Maz gave her a knowing nod, and Rey grinned back at her. Chewie, however, looked distressed. She could feel his disappointment as he turned away and walked back in the direction of the living quarters.

They had made it though. They were safe, even if Ben was held prisoner for now. Despite the amount of hours she had slept over the last day, which was possibly more than any other day in her life, Rey was fit to drop in the first bed she came across. But the night was young, and it was time for the truth to come out.


	5. Chapter 5: Resistance is Futile

The Resistance base was completely opposite in every way to the First Order environments Ben was used to. He was led beneath a canopy of hanging vines, behind which lay the mouth of a vast cavern in the mountainside. The space was illuminated by dim lights embedded in the rock and the glow of computer terminals and map projectors. Its atmosphere emanated a warmth he admired; it was cozy in comparison to the First Order bases which were always clinical and monotonous, a constant sea of black, white, and red. At the centre of the cavern, filling the majority of the space, sat a half-destroyed Corellian Corvette which a handful of people in orange and beige overalls were tinkering with. There were also small groups who appeared independent of the resistance dotted around, all deep in conversation. As Ben was directed through the cavern these conversations were abandoned. Everybody's eyes turned in amazement, the universal reaction being shock, before some turned to terror, others to disbelief — to Ben's wonder there were even a couple of smirks.  
'Eyes down, First Order scum,' said Poe, leaning into Ben's ear, a little louder than necessary to benefit those out of earshot.  
Ben held back a smile. This show was too funny. He kind of admired Poe for his confidence, incarcerating a guy twice his size who could choke him out with his mind, but Ben knew that to play his game was the only way towards making peace. It would be no good for Rey if they were forced to leave. Plus, Ben felt this treatment was very fair. He couldn't think of any mode of torture that his past actions didn't deserve, and then some. He was a war criminal. A murderer. His first meeting with Poe came to mind. He had ordered his Stormtroopers to destroy an entire village on Jakku that night for no reason at all. Both Poe and Finn were witnesses to it. That one instance alone was enough to condemn him to a life of exile if not an immediate death sentence.  
They crossed the cavern and turned into a hidden tunnel in the rock, invisible until you were almost already in it. It led to a single barred cell which was stacked high on one side with crates of old cables and broken-looking tech equipment. There was a protruding slab of rock with a tatty, uninviting bedroll flung over it. The place looked like it had been untouched for some time.  
'You're not putting him in there?' Rey's voice sounded shrilly behind them.  
'Yep'.  
'Oh come on, this is humiliating! For everybody! Even Finn could bust out of there in a —'  
'Hey!' Finn chimed.  
'Then it's a win-win situation,' Poe retaliated. 'If he busts out I'll have no option but to call open fire on him'.  
'Why do you have to be so difficult!?'  
'Doing what I can to keep my remaining friends and family safe is _not_ being difficult,' he said directly to her face. Turning back, he unlocked the barred gate and ushered Ben inside, who had to duck his head to enter.  
'Don't try anything. One wrong move, buddy, and everybody in this room will gladly blast you out of the atmosphere'.  
Ben simply nodded, sitting down obediently on the bare rock. He managed to lock eyes with Rey before she stomped after Poe, giving her a gentle and reassuring smile goodbye, to which she responded with a pitying frown.  
_I'll fix this, don't worry_, he heard her say in his head. _Trust me_. Then all were out of his line of vision and he was left alone with only his thoughts and a heap of junk.

Rey trotted after Poe with BB-8 and D-O rolling along behind, her frustration building with every step they took. He led them toward the mouth of the cavern.  
'Where are we going?'  
Poe didn't respond and carried on walking. She turned around to share a look with Finn, but he just shrugged and shook his head.  
'Poe—'  
'Hey, Rose!' he called, ignoring Rey to summon Rose Tico over from a huddle of concerned faces. 'Grab a weapon would you? Go stand guard at the tunnel and make sure he doesn't go anywhere'.  
Rose, Finn, and Rey all turned to him in disbelief.  
'You're kidding, right?' Rose gaped, her eyes flicking between the two Generals and Rey. Every set of eyes in the cavern turned to Poe.  
'You'll be fine. Won't she Rey? You seem pretty adamant that his murderous past is behind him'. He then continues his journey. Rey looks back at Rose reassuringly. 'He's right, you will be fine. Ben won't hurt anybody, he is with us now'. Rose looked as if she might protest, but Rey stopped her in her tracks. 'Please, we will be right back to relieve you'.  
'Give me your blaster then, I don't have anything,' said Rose impatiently, holding out her hand.  
Rey reluctantly handed over the blaster Han gave her upon their first meeting, before turning to chase after Poe with Finn by her side.  
'Poe wait, where are we going?'  
'I want to be as far away from him as possible while we talk,' he blurted. 'Is that okay with you?`  
Rey hesitated. 'I mean, yeah, but it won't make any difference. If he wants to listen he will'.  
They made it outside onto the landing platform, where Poe stopped abruptly in front of Luke's X-Wing, Rey almost running into the back of him. He stared up at the cockpit, contemplating, before turning back to face Rey and Finn. They stood as three points of a triangle, the droids gathered at Rey's feet not knowing who to look at, and for the first time in their friendship each of them felt they were equal with one another, although they could not figure out why.  
'So will you hear me out?' Rey asked, staring down both of them.  
'First I have a question'.  
She raised her brows at Poe in anticipation.  
'How the hell did you both get here in that thing?'  
'It was our only choi—'  
'That's not what I asked'.  
Rey looked to Finn hoping for an eye roll or anything to suggest he was on her side, but he avoided her gaze. 'Fine,' she said through her teeth, 'I had to sit on his knee while he flew us here'.  
'You travelled halfway across the galaxy sitting on the Supreme Leader's lap? The guy who just a day ago was trying to kill you?'  
'Yes, it was very comfortable actually, I even managed a nap. Now do you have any _serious_ questions or can I finally get a word in?'  
She sensed Poe's frustration. He stared at her for a moment, shifting from one foot to the other, placing his hands firmly on his hips. 'Fine, whatever. Go ahead'.  
Rey scowled. _A difficult man_, she thought, as she prepared to spill all the details — minus a few more personal ones — of what had passed since she left Finn on Kef Bir.

Ben sat staring at the boxes of junk before him, wondering how long he would have to stay in this hole. At least an hour had passed and there was still no sign of anyone, yet he could hear distant concerned mumblings out in the main cavern, and sense the nerves of the poor soul charged with standing between him and his exit. Ben was thirsty and hungry, and wondered what would happen if he asked for some water. Would they indulge him? Or did Poe plan on leaving him to rot, or to give the go-ahead for him to be thrown into a rancor pit? Perhaps that was a bit extreme for the Resistance, he thought, but he had a strong feeling that the only person who would provide him with anything at all was Rey. Thoughts along this strain kept Ben occupied for a further ten minutes until boredom and an uncomfortable hunger made it impossible for him to sit still. He stood, gripping the bars which were just wide enough apart to fit his head through. If he stretched far enough he could just see the back of his keeper. Before thinking it through he whistled, and a vaguely familiar woman turned to look at him with a mixed expression of fear and rage.  
'Wh-who do you think you're whistling at, scum? I'm not one of your Stormtrooper mutts—' she said, becoming more confident by the word.  
'I'm sorry—' Ben interjected. 'I'm sorry I'm just… I'm really thirsty'.  
Rose scoffed at this, despite being somewhat taken aback by his apology, and took a few steps towards his floating head. 'Oh, _you're_ thirsty?'  
Ben withdrew his head from between the bars and sat back on the hard rock. 'Look, I know everyone here hates me, and I can't imagine that changing any time soon, if ever. I promise I won't try anything. I am willing to stay in here for as long as I have to, but it's been a long time since I last had any water'.  
Rose walked up to the bars and looked him in the eye for the first time. She had only ever seen him from afar, but up-close his energy was confusing. He was not as formidable as she had expected, and there was something that suggested a sense of humour in the way he looked up at her. It felt like a trap, but Rose knew she wasn't in any position to challenge Poe or Rey, and everybody knew he could bust out of that cell in a second. He could even persuade his guard to let him out if he wanted to — she had heard from Finn of things that could be done with the force — yet here he was, sitting peacefully in a tiny, uncomfortable hole in the side of the base, guarded by nobody but a tiny, uncomfortable woman with a blaster she barely knew how to use.  
'I can't leave my post, but I'll try and get somebody to bring something,' she said finally, breaking eye contact and walking away from him in confusion. _Maybe he _did _just use mind control on me… how would I know!? _she thought as she headed to the main cavern, not daring to look back or refuse his request.  
Once he was alone, Ben tried to find Rey in the force. Perhaps he could listen to what they were talking about, check that she was safe and happy. He rested back against the cold cavern wall, closing his eyes and opening his mind. He immediately tuned into those in his surroundings, sensing so many unfamiliar auras, all in a mixed state of joy and hurt, presumably as a result of their victory in the war and their resulting losses. He quickly found Rey. She shone out to him like a beacon in a sea of souls, just as she always had since the day he found her on Takodana. But as he tried to focus on Rey there was something else — a distant energy, not entirely whole, which tugged at his chest — drawing his attention like… like a living band of light. Could it be?

Poe, Finn, and BB stared at Rey in amazement, D-O was rolling back and forth at some distance in his own world. She was sure she had accounted for everything, from her encounter with Luke's Force ghost on Ahch-to to Ben's revival of her on Exogol. She had, of course, left out the details of the previous evening, which would remain strictly between Ben and herself.  
BB-8 gave a long 'Beeeeeeeeep bworp?`  
'Yeah I think that's everything,' replied Rey, breathlessly. 'Well?' she said when they just stood there in speechless wonder.  
'So le'me get this straight,' said Poe. 'Leia sacrificed herself to bring Kylo back from the dark side, then _you_ impaled _him_ with his own saber, before stealing _his_ ship, and he still went out of his way to come and help you destroy Palpatine?'  
'Ye—'  
'And Emperor Palpatine, not Kylo, was the source of the lightning which almost toasted half the galaxy, and then killed one of _you_, so you then had to share _one_ life between you until you had time to heal…?'  
Rey looked him dead in the eye, waiting to see if he'd finished. 'His name is _Ben_. But yeah, pretty much.'  
Poe and Finn looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Rey knew they couldn't argue against Ben's status as a hero, but she also didn't expect them to welcome him with open arms given his history. They didn't know him as well as Rey did. They didn't share a bond.  
'I couldn't have done it without him. None of us would be here now if it weren't for Ben'.  
There was another silence. She didn't know what else she could say that would make a difference.  
'Will he want to pay his respects to his mother? She's still inside,' said Finn, snapping Poe and Rey out of their stubborn battle of wills.  
'Sorry?'  
Finn looked uncomfortable, clearly not expecting Rey's quizzical reaction. Poe's eyes widened.  
'I thought you would have felt… You do know, right?' Finn asked delicately with an edge of panic to his voice.  
Rey shook her head in confusion. 'Oh— yes don't worry, I felt it... what I mean is— she's still here?'  
'Of course. We felt it was only right to wait for your return to hold the funeral, to have one big ceremony paying tribute to those who didn't come back from battle. Come on, we can take you to her'.  
Rey looked to Poe for confirmation. He silently nodded.  
_Something isn't right_, thought Rey as she followed them back into the cavern. She briefly made eye contact with a concerned looking Rose, who was being passed a flask by Beaumont Kin, before she disappeared from view behind the Corvette. The Generals and the droids led Rey to the far end, towards the open chamber of beds previously reserved for those on duty. As they reached the back of the Corvette, Beaumont had caught up with them on the other side, catching Rey's eye with a knowing look. He must have been thinking the same thing, awaiting Rey's return to confirm it. He knew all about the ways of the Force, the Jedi, and the Sith, having helped her translate parts of the ancient texts. Beaumont said nothing, however, hanging back while Rey, Poe, and Finn approached the bed on which Leia's body rested. She was entirely covered with a white sheet, which Rey gently pulled back from her face. She looked peaceful, suspended in happy tranquility. But Rey could still feel her. She was distant, but she was there.  
Rey turned to Poe and Finn. 'I don't think she is fully gone,' she said, glancing briefly over Finn's shoulder at Beaumont. 'I think she can be brought back'.  
'Don't be ridiculous Rey, she's been laid there since yesterday, everybody has been to pay their respects—'  
'No you don't understand, Leia is a Jedi, a Jedi who is particularly powerful with the force. When they— when _we_ die, we can disappear, our bodies often becoming one with the force. Beaumont knows,' she said eagerly, pointing past them. The Generals turned to look at him. He nodded, which Rey was exceedingly grateful for. She didn't want to seem any crazier than her friends already thought her to be.  
'We need to go and get Ben'.  
'Woah, woah, woah!' Poe raised his hands. You're saying Leia, who has been laying here without moving or breathing for almost two, days is alive? And that you and your boyfriend can bring her back?'  
Rey felt her cheeks burn, but she ignored his jab and continued on with her fight. 'Perhaps, yes. There must be a reason she is still here. But I can't attempt to bring her back on my own, it will have to be the two of us, me and Ben…' She shook her head again, trying to keep her emotions below the surface. 'He should be here. Please, let him go. Really, there is no need for anybody to feel in danger'.  
Poe first looked to Finn, who simply nodded. Then he sighed, turning to Beaumont. 'Bring him'.  
Rey stood over Leia, folding the sheet neatly back as if she were only sleeping. What had she done? How could she still be holding on? Rey smiled, unwilling, _unable_ to believe it was over. She heard footsteps behind her and turned to see that familiar dark figure walking towards her, flanked by Rose and Beaumont. A tingle down her spine accompanied the relief she felt at his reappearance. Poe and Finn joined Rose and Beaumont a short distance away, while Ben kept walking. It seemed to Rey like he might continue in his stride until he was flush against her, but, as if remembering he was in unfamiliar company, or noticing his apparently deceased mother behind Rey, he abruptly stopped about a metre short. BB and D-O scooted behind Rey's legs, unsure of her new friend.  
_She is still here. You feel her too._  
_Is it possible? _  
_W_e _can try, if you want to._  
Ben walked around Rey to be beside Leia. He pulled back the sheet to take a hold of his mother's hand.  
_You'll help me? _he asked, looking deep into Rey's eyes.  
She walked to face him from the opposite side of the bed and took Leia's other hand. They both kneeled either side of her, Ben's other hand going to her forehead, Rey's to her torso. The onlookers remained silent, watching in wonder at Rey and Ben's silent conversation. Poe wiped away a tear on his sleeve at the sight of his late General.  
Together, Rey and Ben began transferring their force energy into Leia, the woman who had been a mother to them both in one way or another. Their eyes were closed, but they could see each other across the bond; they shared a hopeful half-smile as their hands brought Leia's together, completing a circuit between the three of them.  
Rey's anxiety turned a few short seconds into a lifetime. _If it doesn't work—?_  
_If we can't bring her back I am only glad I got to say goodbye_, Ben returned.  
Then Rey felt movement beneath her fingers. Up and down. Breathing… Rey's eyes shot open only to prove what she could already feel — It was working. She looked up at Ben who was gazing back at her, eyes wide and breathing rapidly. Mirroring one another, they both looked to the face of their mother. She was alive, they could feel her returning. Rey could feel herself becoming weaker, but could not bring herself to break the bond. Ben noticed.  
_Don't go too far, I won't be able to restore you this time. I learnt well enough yesterday that I can't take losing you_, he urged.  
_She is almost back, we can do it_—  
_Let go, Rey_.  
His calm yet emphatic demand brought back the memory of all the Jedi joining her on Exogol, spurring her on, and she realized then that Leia's voice hadn't appeared with the others. Now it made sense. It was because she hadn't moved on.  
Rey knew she had to remove herself from the bond before weakness overcame her. She withdrew her hands, feeling powerless as she watched Ben continue in his meditative state to revive the Princess. She remembered that they weren't alone. Turning, she caught sight of the gawking Generals, Rose, and Beaumont who were all clinging to one another. Rose's arm lifted to point a finger over Rey's shoulder. Rey spun back around to see Ben, his eyes still closed, breathing deeply as his mother's eyes flickered open. Rey's hand clapped over her mouth. She thought she might faint, but remembering how Ben hadn't known when to stop last time forced her to remain conscious. She had to reach out before he went too far.  
_Ben, she is awake, stop, look!_  
'Ben,' croaked a wonderfully familiar voice.

That voice. The voice that had tried to reach him so many times over the last decade now called his name. A voice that Ben was sure he would never hear again. He opened his eyes to see his mother's smiling back at him with their usual warmth. They had aged somewhat since the last time they were face to face, but held just as much warmth and love as they had when he was a child.  
'Mom,' he whispered, unable to hold back the tears.  
'What are you waiting for, help your mother up!' said Leia, with the same graceful sarcasm with which she always managed to brighten a room during the hardest of times.  
Ben looked from his mother to Rey, and his heart was full. The last two days had left him the weakest he had felt since his youth, but in the most fulfilling way. He had never been more at ease than he was at that moment, surrounded by the only two people left who truly believed in Ben Solo. D-O, forthright as ever, rolled over to Ben and tipped back his cone head. 'H-happy?'  
Rey helped Ben to haul Leia up into a sitting position before he slumped back onto the ground. Rey was straight to his side, directing D-O to roll back towards the others. Ben tried to return to kneeling but his body adamantly refused.  
'No, keep still. You need water,' she said, turning to the guys who were all still stood in bewilderment at what they had just witnessed. Beaumont and Rose both hurried off to gather refreshments while Poe and Finn remained on their spot, waiting to see what would happen next. Leia turned to face them.  
'Generals,' she said, bowing her head slightly.  
'General Organa, it's great to have you back,' Poe replied. The tear in his eye had multiplied and they were now streaming down his cheeks. He took Finn's hand for comfort.  
'I think we should stick to Princess Leia for now, if that's alright with the two of you?'  
They both smiled at the miracle sitting before them, unable to take their eyes away.  
'Well don't just stand there eyeballing, help my son onto a bed!'  
They both snapped into action at once, running between the beds to Ben who had now crumpled into Rey's lap.  
'Uhm—' The Generals both hovered for a second before each grabbing an arm and hoisting him up to his feet. They stumbled with him over to the next bed and swung his legs up. Rey couldn't help but smirk at the sight of them together.  
'Rey'.  
She turned to Leia, who was scooting up the bed to rest her back, and perched on the end by her feet with a broad grin. 'We thought you were gone forever'.  
'You thought I'd leave you to do all the work around here?'  
'I couldn't have done it without you' said Rey, turning to look at Ben who was now being handed a tray of food and drink by Rose. Beaumont stood aside quietly explaining something to Poe and Finn. 'I would never have been strong enough to bring him back to the light. Thank you'.  
'Give yourself some credit Rey. You're the only one who has been able to turn his head since he was a boy. Even then the only one who could persuade him to do _anything_ was Chewie...'  
'Oh, Chewie! And Maz— everyone! I should go and get them—' said Rey as she feebly began to raise from the bed.  
'No', Leia said, looking around at the light in the cavern. 'It looks like it's getting late, and there are only so many surprises a person can take in a single day. Let everybody rest for now and we can spread the gossip tomorrow!'  
Rey smiled, sighing. 'Maybe your resurrection will take some of the attention away from Ben'.  
She didn't realize it, but she was staring at him almost longingly across the space between the beds, watching him sleepily chew on a piece of dry cake.  
Leia smiled, internally praising herself for being right from the very beginning. 'You should go and wash up, get comfortable. He will be here when you get back, and you can seek out a more comfortable place for him to sleep'.  
'I'm not sure if Poe will be okay with that—'  
'You just leave Poe Dameron to me' she said stubbornly, turning a sharp eye on the perplexed Generals who were privately discussing something.  
Rey took Leia's hand as she rose to leave. 'Make sure they don't lock him up again'.  
'I'd like to see them try,' she assured her protégé with a squeeze of her hand. 'And Rey,' she added, holding on, 'thank you for bringing back my son'.

Ben awoke to a low rocky ceiling that glimmered in the lamp light, surrounded by beds, trunks and navigation equipment. Recalling how he came to be there, his gaze snapped to the left to find Leia sitting up in her bed reading from an old book. She placed it down when she sensed she was being watched.  
'Good evening,' she said, jovially. 'I believe it is time for us to become reacquainted'.  
Ben propped himself upright. He felt much better after having slept, but once again he found himself hungry. He was thankful to rediscover his abandoned tray still beside his bed, but his stomach would have to wait.  
'Mom. I don't know what I can say to you, or to anyone, other than I'm… I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. For everything… for Dad—'  
'Ben, your being here at this very moment makes up — for me at least — for everything that has happened over the years. You can blame yourself for the rest of your life, but it won't help anybody move forward. You were let down. By me, by Luke…everything your family did to try and save you was terribly executed. We abandoned you at a time when you needed us the most. And for that I will never forgive myself, or my brother'. Leia briefly looked down at her hands with a pained expression on her face, before returning to her usual controlled self. 'I'm sure that by now you are aware it was all the Emperor's doing? Your visits from Vader, Snoke… The Force acts in mysterious ways — I had no idea of the hold Palpatine had over you until it was too late. He saw your power, as we all did. Watching you harness it was both a wonderful and terrifying thing to behold. When I saw the darkness creeping in I thought sending you to Luke was my only option, but I should have had more confidence in myself as your mother'.  
Ben sat silently for a moment, recalling Palpatine's words on his first visit to Exogol. '_I have been every voice you have ever heard inside your head_. I wondered why he told me that, as if it would make me loyal to him. All it told me was that he'd been pouring poison into my ear for as long as I could remember, and it threw everything I was taught to believe in into doubt'.  
Leia swung her legs over the edge of her bed and leant towards him. 'And this is exactly why you must not put yourself primarily to blame for the things you have done; you were under the thrall of the Sith. What Palpatine did to you was exactly what he did to my father. You may already know by now, but there was something I always intended to tell you when you were older. I wanted you to fully understand the powers of the Force before we spoke of Anakin Skywalker, but I left it too late'.  
'All I know of Darth Vader is that he was seduced by the dark side, as I was. I worshipped him…' said Ben, feeling a fool for keeping a shrine of him in his quarters for so long.  
'Ben, your grandfather was a good man before he was betrayed in the same way that you were, before he was groomed by the dark side. Luke recognized the light which still existed within him, as Rey did in you from the very beginning. In the same way Rey brought you back, Luke persuaded Anakin, our father, to turn — with love. But not before it was too late. He died ending the Emperor's reign, saving his son's life, and bringing order to the galaxy'.  
Ben didn't know what to say. This changed everything. If he had died saving Rey, his entire life would have mirrored that of his grandfather who Ben had always been led to believe was a monster. Although he was not and never would allow himself to be at peace with the destruction he had caused, his mother's words provided a strange comfort. They also made him a victim. The weakness he had felt, the cracks in the darkness, had not been a weakness at all. It was the light trying to win him back. The dark side had been a mere shell about him, retaining only pain and hatred, and expelling every part of his old self. The light side of the force, which thanks to his mother and Rey now prevailed within him, allowed Ben to experience joy, fun, and love for himself and others.  
'I didn't know. It makes sense—' he began, before breaking down as he had almost done before throwing his lightsaber into the waves of Kef Bir — after he had stood before the vision of his father.  
Leia stood and stepped away from the edge of her bed, her arms held open to her son. Ben fell from the bed onto his knees before her, allowing her to pull him into her arms for the first time since he left to train as a Jedi.

Rey had been dubious about visiting the Falcon in case she ran into Chewie. She didn't want to have to lie to him, nor could she handle seeing the pain and disappointment in his eyes again. But unless she wanted to wait yet another day before being able to change her clothes, Rey had no choice. It had been a long few days, and the white fabric of her tunic had acted as a canvas for all the elements and battles she had faced on Pasaana, Kijimi, and Exogol. Rey was, however, pleased to find the ship entirely void of people. She had at least expected to find Lando in there now that he had been reunited with his favourite ship. _Good_, Rey thought. She could use the shower to wash up in privacy, then tomorrow she would visit the pool she had once discovered when venturing off her beaten training course. It was a long time since she had last been able to bathe in the afternoon sun and the thought of it was thrilling. Rey made her way to the sleeping quarters where she had last left her trunk containing what little she possessed in the whole galaxy. Folded neatly next to the Jedi texts were two changes of clothes, one which she favoured for evenings and sleeping in company on the ship. Perhaps now she was no longer under direct threat there would be an opportunity to seek out some additions to her meagre wardrobe.  
After she had scrubbed every inch of her body under the hot water, Rey sat and enjoyed the seclusion of the ship's tiny washroom, allowing the steam to fill her lungs and gather in beads on her skin. When dressed in her clean sleeping clothes, she tidied her hair back into three neat buns. Then, pausing for a second before the small, cracked mirror, she pulled out the bottom two and allowed the hair to fall about her shoulders, just as it had done the night she first touched hands with Ben. When Rey was satisfied with her appearance she slipped into her boots and headed back to the cavern.  
It was late now, and Rey encountered nobody as she passed the Corvette. A few of the lights had been turned off, but some still glowed in various corners of the vast craggy space, orbited by small clusters of tiny flying insects. She approached the open bed chamber but stopped short when seeing a tender moment being shared between Leia and Ben. It warmed Rey's heart to see them united, but there was something else in her, a longing for a mother perhaps, that made her sorely wish she was part of their bond.

Ben had managed to compose himself and was sat on the edge of his bed, his mother next to him with her hand firmly pressed into his. They had been silent for some time since the tears had ceased, but he felt no pressure to speak. He felt weak, but for the first time he was allowing himself to be so. Finally the rage had subsided, like a weight being lifted, his shell of darkness completely broken away.  
They both felt her approach at once. Looking up, Ben and Leia saw the figure of Rey standing some distance away as if she did not want to disturb them. Something changed within Ben as he saw her dark outline step forward into the light glow from the chamber — something he could not disguise from his mother. Leia recognized it as the same change she felt in her younger self whenever Han walked in the room, only this was on a different level. While it was a feeling she associated with Han, it also brought to mind the strangely deep connection she had with Luke. Theirs was a bond she had never fully been able to understand, and what she sensed now between her son and Rey appeared even more complex.  
'Go on, I'm going to get some rest,' said Leia in a hushed voice, releasing her grip on his hand and patting his broad shoulder which came level with her face. 'Come and see me tomorrow morning. I want to introduce everybody to my son'.  
Her smile lit him up as he stood from the bed. He bent low to kiss the top of her head. 'Good night'.  
Ben left the safety of his mother, and turned towards the perilous vision of Rey. She stood before him once again as the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, and he basked in the novelty of seeing her in a way he never had before. Her hair, like it had been the first time she almost took his hand, was half down; it was longer now, travelling past her shoulders, and having been bound up for so long it fell about her neck in loose ringlets. Once taken in by her face, still rosy from the hot water and bordered by damp wispy curls, there was no escape; his eyes could do nothing other than study her whole person. She had also changed her clothes. Rey had never appeared uncomfortably dressed to Ben before, but now that her worn-out tunic had been replaced with a loosely fitted, cream-coloured shirt she looked entirely at ease and ready for a well-earned rest. Her legs were covered down to mid-thigh with a soft-looking pair of beige shorts which had clearly been modified from an old pair of Resistance overalls. This was the most Ben had ever seen of her bare skin, and it took him a moment to realize he was staring. His eyes quickly shot back up to her face which without a doubt, he thought to himself, was his favourite thing to look upon in the galaxy.  
'Are you alright?' Rey asked as he approached her.  
'Yeah. It's all quite… different,' he said, not really knowing how to describe the effect the profusion of new feelings he had experienced over the last two days had had on him. 'I haven't experienced affection for many years, and here it is, all at once'.  
'I felt the same way when I met your mother for the first time,' she smiled up at him as they walked together back through the cavern. 'She is very good at making one feel immediately at home'.  
Ben smiled down at her, taking another cheeky glance at her shorts. 'You've changed'. Despite the lack of light in the cavern he saw her blush.  
'I have?' she faltered, running her hand through the length of her hair and looking away. 'How?'  
Ben laughed. 'Your clothes'.  
'Oh! Yes, that's where I'm taking you now, actually... if you'd like? There is usually a trunk of clean clothes left in the armoury, I could dig some out for you?'  
He admired her swerve from embarrassment to practicality. 'Yeah, I was gonna ask. You're all clean and cozy, I was beginning to feel self-conscious,' he teased.  
Rey chuckled, until the back of their hands bumped together in their stride. Then not another word was uttered until they exited the cavern.

Their side of the moon was in total darkness now. It was easy to spot the various camps littered across the mountainside, and hear distant revelry and music throughout the forest. Rey could only guess that members of the Resistance were reuniting with loved ones and becoming acquainted with their new allies, as there was hardly a soul to be found in the base's main camp. As she and Ben headed across the base towards the armoury they passed a fire in the edge of the trees around which sat Vober Dand and his father, Ibdun, Seossra Thwisp, Wrobie Tyce and Larma D'Acy. She nodded at them, unsure of how they would react to the sight of Ben walking beside her. Much to her surprise they each nodded back, before going back to their drinks and conversation.  
'People are being a lot less hostile towards me than I expected,' Ben uttered.  
'Beaumont and Rose have no doubt been spreading the word that you're here, and of what you have done for the Resistance. And there are many here who understand the pull between the light and the dark, who have seen the struggle first hand'.  
She looked up and saw Ben's head turn towards those gathered around the fire, then to the ground ahead like a lost child. Rey said no more in fear of upsetting him further, waiting instead until they reached their destination. She opened a heavy door set into the rock further around the mountainside and felt for a lever on the wall. As she pulled it stiffly downwards the room lit up with a loud _clunk_, illuminating a number of crates, racks of protective gear, and an arsenal of heavy and personal-ranged weapons. Rey made her way over to a large trunk in a far corner of the room.  
'Okay,' she said as she began lifting folded items of orange, white, and beige clothing out and laying them on top of the nearest crate. 'Hopefully there is something in here big enough!'.  
She heard Ben chuckle behind her as he approached the crate.  
'Is there anything less vibrant?' he said with a smile in his voice.  
'Do you mean is there anything in black?' Rey gave him a sideways smirk as she laid her hands on yet another luminous boiler suit.  
'Anything but orange'. He continued to carry humour in his voice but she could tell he was deadly serious. _So much like Han_, she thought.  
Finally she came across a grey undershirt which looked like it might just fit him. 'Here,' she said, flinging it to him. He turned it in his hands as she rooted deeper in the trunk for a pair of dark brown cargo pants. 'These should do,' Rey said triumphantly. 'Come on, I'll take you to get cleaned up'.

Rey wasn't sure how good an idea it was to take Ben to the Falcon in case Chewie or Lando returned, but it was their only choice as the Corvette was in need of major repair after the Battle of Exogol. The Falcon was still in darkness and the coast appeared to be clear upon their approach.  
As they climbed the boarding ramp, Rey noticed Ben looking around himself nostalgically. It hadn't occurred to her previously that this place might hold a lot of meaning for him. She decided it was a bad idea to broach the subject tonight in case he became upset again.  
'Okay, I'll wait out here and keep watch,' she said, glaring back at the way they had come as they walked around the main corridor to the bathroom, as if they were on a mission to hot-wire the ship. Ben rolled his eyes and closed the door on her.  
Only a few minutes had passed and Rey was already laid out on one of the bunks nearest to the bathroom, impatiently worrying at everything within reach of her fingers. _What's taking him so long_, she thought, before guiltily recalling just how long _she _had spent in there. Instead of mentally punishing Ben for doing absolutely nothing wrong, she turned her attention to the pillow beneath her head. It felt like forever since she had slept on a comfortable surface — apart from Ben's lap, of course — and she closed her eyes to think of the long, peaceful night she was in for. As Rey began to sink further into the bunk, forgetting the purpose of her post, she heard heavy steps coming up the boarding ramp around the other side of the ship.  
Her body snapped upright, and after pausing to confirm what she had heard, she leapt across to the bathroom and swiftly slid the door shut behind her.  
'Rey, what the hell—'  
'_Shhh_,' she whispered, facing the wall with her ear against the door. 'Somebody's coming'.  
'You know, I don't think anybody is going to kill us for taking a shower… Who does this ship even belong to now, anyway?'  
Rey sighed. 'I'm trying to avoid a run in with Ch—' She was cut off as she turned to see him standing there, his hair, black as night, dripping onto his bare chest. He was frowning at her as he pushed it back from his face with one swoop of his huge hand which glistened with moisture.  
'I'm sorry I didn't mean to…' _Didn't mean to what? Assume he wasn't completely naked? _she scolded herself as she watched him fasten the top button of his new trousers, unable to tear her eyes away. They seemed to fit, but hung slightly from his hips, revealing hair that trailed down from his navel and disappeared behind his waistband. Rey found herself desperately wanting to know where it led. Realising, however, just how inappropriate her barging in had been, she reached for the door. But before she could push the release button, Ben's arm reached out and blocked her from going anywhere.  
'Hey it's okay,' he whispered, closing the gap between them. The steam in the bathroom was heavy, and Rey's breathing was growing rapid. She saw a new confidence in him now as he placed his hands on her waist, which both intimidated and excited her. She thought he would kiss her, but instead, to her great surprise, he bent low and picked her up by the thighs, carrying her over to the sink and setting her on its wide edge. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as if he might drop her, but his hold was firm and there was no way he was letting go. Once he had secured Rey on her perch, he progressed further between her legs and stared deep into her eyes.  
'Feeling better after your shower?' Rey whispered, wide-eyed and breathless, wondering what his plans for the evening were. He said nothing, but moved in tenderly for a kiss.  
'_Hello_?' Lando's voice boomed from the other side of the door. 'Rey is that you?'  
She stiffened, pushing Ben away before their lips could meet.  
'Lando! I'm— I'm just getting cleaned up for bed,' she called in a panic. Ben returned, however, stooping to place his mouth on her throat as if he would tear at her jugular with his teeth. And was he smelling her?  
'Listen, Chewie and I are staying up in the mountains for the night to catch up with some old buddies. I just came back for some hooch, so you don't have to worry about us disturbing your night. Unless you want to come with?'  
'Uhm, thanks Lando but… you're right, I should get some rest'. Her voice faltered. She found it exceedingly difficult to produce coherent speech with Ben's face buried in her neck.  
'You sound exhausted, kiddo. I'll lock up for you— get some rest, you've earned it. See you at first light!'  
'Have a good one!' She sat still for a moment trying to calm herself, listening to the clinking of Lando grabbing several bottles from the hold, followed by the chunter of the boarding ramp being raised.  
Rey was now shut up in the Falcon with a wild animal. The kisses Ben laid upon her neck, with the occasional gentle bite, were sending shivers throughout her body. His size filled the tiny room around her and the pressing of his hips between her legs was something entirely new. To have him back in her arms after a long and stressful evening was overwhelmingly satisfying, but his touch was sending Rey to a place she had never been before. She only had a vague idea of what went on between men and women who had feelings for each other, and her own lack of experience with the male of her species terrified her. She was generally quite brave in every aspect of her life, but Ben Solo had a way of crashing through all of her barriers.

Ben didn't know what had come over him, but having Rey alone in such a confined space sent a desire coursing through every inch of his body. Who did she think she was, barging in here in her little shorts while he was half naked? _If she had come in any sooner she would have been in for a real surprise_, he thought as his arms tightened around her, feeling the curves of her body through the thin, fluid material of her shirt. The skin of her neck was soft against his lips, smelling of jesmin soap and her own recognizable scent which he could not get enough of. His hand went to her lower back, causing her spine to arch beneath his fingers and her body to push into his. Ben then realized that her relaxed state of dress made her more vulnerable to his hands which he could barely control. Yesterday on Ahch-to her fitted clothes had acted as a barrier between them, but now there was nothing to prevent his hands from venturing into unexplored territory. This caused him to panic.  
Ben pulled away from her neck and gently pushed his muzzle into her hot cheek. 'Is this okay?' he murmured, unsure of what he wanted the answer to be.  
Rey's hands, which had been clutching his bare back, came up to his face. 'I think so, but I… I really have no idea what—'. Her voice was shaky and he could feel her heart pounding against his. Ben moved his tender kisses to her mouth, and she returned them deeply, introducing the tip of her tongue, raking her fingers through the back of his hair. Ben let out a small involuntary whimper as their tongues met, which he would have perhaps been embarrassed about had she not taken it as a signal to keep going. Her legs wrapped around his thighs and pulled him tighter to her, pressing as hard against his chest as she could. Ben felt he needed to add a disclaimer before she expected anything more from him.  
'Rey, I— I just want you to know… I've never done this before either,' he whispered. She couldn't see them, but his ears glowed pink beneath his black mane.  
'Really?' she asked, pulling away again breathlessly, raising one eyebrow in disbelief.  
'Yeah I mean, there was never much time and, uh… There has never really been…' he glanced downward, unable to construct the sentence he was looking for.  
Rey thought about this for a second and smiled to herself. 'So how are we supposed to know what we're doing?'  
Ben sighed through a grin, trying not to think about the crash-course his dad had once tried to give him before bashfully leaving the room and making Chewie tell the rest. 'I mean, I know the ins and outs, but…' His lowered tone had an inquisitive softness to it, as it had during their first ever force bond. 'I suppose we'll just have to do what feels good. There's no rush, we can just get to know each other… the things we like'.  
He looked back into her eyes which glittered in the light and stared back at him in wonder. Her lips, full and red from kissing him, were slightly apart and glistened as if they were sugar-glazed.  
It occurred to him in that moment that her face was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life. She shone brighter than any sunset, tasted better than anything he had ever eaten; Rey had always been entirely perfect since the day they met, but now she _smiled_ for him.  
'I like it when you kiss me,' she breathed. And so he did, gently on the lips, placing a hand at the small of her back where he found the hem of her shirt. Daring, he slid his fingers beneath the soft fabric and found the deep valley of her spine. First he explored upwards, resting for a moment between her shoulder blades to caress the silkiness of her skin, then back down again, all the way to the hem of her shorts which he tugged down slightly with his thumb. Now it was Rey's turn to whimper. Ben's experimental caresses were having as much an effect on her body as they were on his own. Her hands, too, were beginning to explore for themselves.

Rey wasn't being modest when she said she didn't know what she was doing. She knew her hands were ready to go on an adventure, but they had no idea where to begin. It was even more difficult to gather her thoughts while he was becoming bolder with his caresses, but the tingling pull from between her legs which had introduced itself the previous evening told her to stop thinking and let her body take the wheel. Rey slowed their kisses, finally sucking Ben's lower lip gently before leaning back to take a better look. Her eyes travelled down his body and landed once again on the mysterious hair descending into his trousers. It was black, like that on his head, sparse at his navel, and growing denser before disappearing. Her thoughts went to the small collection of hair between her own legs, fine and brown. What awaited her down there? She had a feeling he wouldn't stop her if she tried to find out.  
Rey brought both hands around to his chest, noticing a tiny cluster of the same hair gathered on his sternum. She stroked it with her fingertips before trailing them slowly down to his pelvis. She looked up to find him breathing heavily through his lips, chest beating, his eyes locked on her hands. When they reached his top button she stopped to see what effect it would have. He snapped out of his trance and his eyes flicked up to hers, a challenging look in them, somewhere between _I dare you _and _I trust you_.  
Rey's hands appeared to lack any dexterity as she worked at his top button, but the rest followed suit easily, aided by whatever strained behind them. She leant back slightly, her legs still anchored around the back of his. Upon the release of the final button the space between them was immediately filled with Ben's manhood. He exhaled through a grin which disappeared as quickly as it arrived, replaced by a mixed look of fear and longing. Rey looked from his shifting expression to this unfamiliar object, feeling equally as scared and a little bit stumped at what she should do now that it laid before her. Ben picked up on this and took her right hand, placing it around his length. Both of them exhaled with the intensity of this new intimacy as, with his hand still over hers, he began to gently move it back and forth. Rey was transfixed by this machine which was both solid and delicate, and as she toyed with different motions and angles she was able to study the gathering of hair at its base, which continued further down between his legs.  
'Are you okay?' he breathed, 'is this what you imagined?'  
'I had an idea but… not like this,' she said in wonder. Rey wasn't a complete stranger to male human anatomy, but she had never experienced a man up close, or expected anything of such a size that she could barely surround it with her fingers. She couldn't explain why, but it excited her. For over a year she had had fleeting fantasies about touching Ben, kissing him, but never before had she imagined such intimacy as this. Rey was also aware of where this thing must inevitably _go_, and was trying to comprehend just _how _it could possibly fit.  
There were many lonely nights in the few years prior to leaving Jakku when Rey had been bored or without comfort — or had found a rare opportunity to wash herself — and had explored her entire body with her hands. This included the small folds between her legs that she could barely enter with her finger. All she knew about this place was that, when touched, it was powerful enough to temporarily sustain her, distracting her from hunger or sadness, and that whenever her hands had ventured to that place in recent months, Ben had sprung to mind in one form or another. She had never considered it before, but even as Kylo Ren, Ben fuelled all of her passions.

If Ben had bothered to search Rey's mind at the very moment, it is very likely that he would have exploded all over her right then and there. It was taking all of his focus to _not_ do that, to _not_ gross her out or frighten her into running away and leaving him alone. Nobody other than himself had touched him in this way before. He'd had frequent opportunities to explore sex, of course, but the thought of _buying _it or doing it with a person he barely knew — the entire culture of it — disgusted him. Rey was an exception to the rest of the galaxy because she brought his desire to the surface — made it unignorable. For most of their relationship Ben had viewed himself as a monster, a hateful beast who obsessed over this much younger girl, who wanted to carry her away and drag the evil out of her so she would be just like himself. He was still coming to terms with the fact that she wanted him around her at all, never mind allowing him to touch her. If he _had _searched her mind, his deepest fantasy would have been answered: Rey thought about him when she was alone; she thought about him when she touched herself.  
'Does this feel good?' Rey asked inquisitively, continuing with her strokes.  
Ben nodded, swallowing hard. 'If you carry on there is going to be a mess,' he smirked, closing his eyes for a moment. When they opened again she was focusing intently on her task at hand, perhaps deep in thought.  
'Do you think of me?' she said.  
'What?' replied Ben, trying to remain focused.  
'When you do this. Do you think of me?' She looked up at him with her beautiful feline eyes.  
'I'm never not thinking about you,' he admitted, coolly. 'But yes, especially when I do this'. Rey's blush deepened.  
'What does it feel like?  
To this he had no response, but thinking about the pleasure she was giving him was making it more intense. He let out a groan.  
'I'm sorry,' she hesitated with her movement, 'are you okay?'  
'Yeah don't stop,' he blurted. She held back a smile and continued, studying every inch of his face as she went.  
Ben had an idea. The pressure was building and he didn't know how much longer he could hold on after only a minute of her caresses. Figuring there was nothing to lose, he closed his eyes and placed his forehead against Rey's.

Rey was surprised at Ben's leaning forward until she felt him channelling her through the Force. She closed her eyes and let him in, still working on him at a rhythmic pace. Then she felt it. Rey was already worked up herself, but all of a sudden she could sense Ben's pleasure on top of her own. It was similar to the moments leading up to her own climaxes, but with an added pressure, like something within her could burst at any moment.  
_I think about you all the time. When I wake up, when I take a shower, when I eat, when I sleep_.  
The intensity increased, and Rey faltered in her stroke as she thought she might come, before it occurred to her that she was the one in control. Understanding this, her hand quickened its pace, pulling to and fro. It took no time at all for them to return to the brink of ecstasy.  
_I think about how you spend your evenings. What you do for fun. When I am alone I wonder what you look like beneath your clothes. Whether you touch yourself… whether you think of me when _you're_ alone_.  
'Ah—' Rey called, her pitch rising at the end as if she were asking — almost begging.  
_Don't stop, Rey. Don't_—  
In one deft movement Ben gently shoved her backwards so that her shoulders pushed against the wall over the sink, lifted the hem of her shirt to just below her breasts, and spurted his hot load all over her stomach, guiding her hand as to avoid her clean clothes. They both groaned in unison as the pressure was released; Rey felt the full force of Ben's orgasm, as clearly as if she had been rubbing herself. After taking a moment for them both to catch their breath, to register what had just happened in the Falcon's tiny bathroom, he took himself into his own hand and leaned over for some paper. Rey's arm flopped into her lap which strangely did not feel as tender as it usually did after an orgasm, despite the pleasure still rippling throughout her body. She looked down to study the cooling substance that had just been shot up her stomach, and which stopped just below the hem of her t-shirt.  
'You felt it too…' said Ben, smiling in wonderment. He returned to her and swiftly cleaned up the mess they had made, discarding the evidence in the toilet. Now that the heat of the moment had subsided, Rey couldn't help but turn crimson at what had just transpired between them. _He thinks about me all the time, as much as I think about him_, she thought. _And that's what he does when he thinks about me_.  
'I wonder why a Force bond has never happened during one of your _thoughts_ about me,' she laughed, pushing herself upright from the wall.  
'It almost did once,' Ben smirked, re-fastening his trousers. 'That night you caught me after my shower… remember?'  
How could she forget? This revelation shone an entirely new light on her favourite, albeit most confusing memory. It was almost the exact image that stood before her now, only this one she could reach out and touch. But there was no need, as the real thing now parted her legs and waded between them once again, encircling her in his arms and kissing her tenderly. Without looking up he hit the control panel, which opened the door with a swoosh. He stepped back, scooped his arms under her knees, and lifted her out of the bathroom into the clear air of the corridor.  
'What are you doing?' Rey squealed.  
'Taking you to bed,' Ben whispered into the hair just above her ear.


	6. Chapter 6: First Day at Camp

Since the passing over of the Falcon from Han Solo to pretty much whoever was around to fly it at the time, Rey and the droids had adopted it — as had Chewie, and now Lando apparently — as their main residence. This meant some alterations had once again needed to be made to its domestic features in the name of hygiene and privacy. The bathroom and kitchenette for instance had been modernised and were now courteously maintained to a ship-shape standard by all who used them. In the time between Han's death and their journey to Kef Bir with Finn and Poe, Chewie had opted to set up a private space for himself in the rarely used third hold, which allowed him to stretch his legs at night and regularly polish his bowcaster in peace. The crew quarters then being left to Rey, she had tried to make it her own comfortable space. Chewie had hinted that before Han laid his hands on it, the Millennium Falcon's interior had been designed by Lando to act as some kind of bachelor pad back in the day. Besides making her dry-heave slightly, this information provided Rey with the idea of restoring her favourite bunk to its old status as a double. She got straight on it at the first opportunity, having never had a proper bed of her own for as long as she could remember. Ever since adding her finishing touches to the space she woke up feeling like a princess, but it had never crossed her mind that she would ever share it with anybody, let alone an actual prince.

Ben exited the bathroom surrounded by a plume of steam, walking with perfect ease despite the girl he carried before him. On their way onto the ship Rey had directed him straight through to the bathroom with the intention of being in and out of there as rapidly as possible, but now he had the freedom to look around as he crossed the corridor to the sleeping quarters. The Falcon had changed drastically from how he remembered it as a child. It was clean for a start, and there was a converted bunk, just big enough for two, which only slightly encroached on the perpendicular bunk. Not pausing to consider who it belonged to he sat Rey down on the edge and squatted between her legs, looking up at her lovely glowing cheeks as he pulled off her boots.

'Recovered?' he asked, broadly grinning at the recent memory of her reclined face, contorted with second-hand pleasure. He wondered how soon he might see it again.

'Shouldn't I be asking you that question?' She ran one hand into his hair while the other cupped his chin, stroking the side of his face and lips with her thumb. He took a hold of it, placing Rey's palm to his mouth and kissing. He was taken by surprise when the hand in his hair angled his head upwards and his face was accosted by breathy kisses. She began between his brows, slowly moving across his eyelid, and down his left cheek, at one point brushing close by his ear with her nose. He felt her exhale on his skin, and his hands wasted no time finding their way to her waist, gripping each side just below her ribs. This resulted in a small jerk of her body, accompanied by a gentle groan against his jaw. Landing on his lips, she lingered until he rose and pushed her back onto the bed, the carnal lust he had felt in the bathroom flashing back to the surface. As she used her arms and legs to scurry further up the covers he watched her intently, as if she were his prey. He caught up with her, parting her knees and laying the full weight of his torso between them, pinning her down.

Ben paused, trying to tell what she was thinking without actually intruding on her thoughts. Her movements had excited him, but there was something denoting anxiety, perhaps ever fear, in her expression now. He was aware that in this position she had no way of stopping him without using her force strength. Mentally they were a match, but physically he had the upper hand. Although he desperately wanted to kiss her all over, to _consume _her right there on the bed, he refrained.

The pressure of Ben's weight between her legs radiated wave after wave of pleasure through Rey. The thrum of his torso beating against her most private, untouched place made her feverish, and she wanted nothing more than for him to be in direct contact with it. Unfortunately this gave her no control over her facial expression, making her unaware of just how uncomfortable she appeared to Ben. He was propping himself above her, his arms either side of her own, restricting her from moving them to his back like she desperately wanted. His hair flopped around his face as he hovered, speechlessly searching her eyes as if seeking an answer to a lifelong question. The look on his face changed from desperation to concern in an instant, but Rey couldn't figure out why. Her first assumption was that he didn't want to touch her as much as she wanted to be touched by him. She quickly dismissed the idea as a ridiculous moment of self-doubt; Rey knew he wanted this as much as she did. As she was considering making a move towards taking control of the situation, he shifted away to lay beside her.

She thought back to the first time he showed her his face, when he was so sure he could take whatever he wanted. She wondered whether he was still so confident, whether he would take the initiative, or leave her in control this time. Throughout their confused acquaintance his insecurities had become clearer and clearer to her, and now, with his reluctance to test the boundaries of their very fresh intimacy, he was beginning to prove himself a true gentleman. The polar opposite to Kylo Ren. Rey was alarmed to realise this was not entirely what she wanted. She was about to throw a leg over to mount him, but before she could move he cuddled into her side and laid his head upon her chest.

'This has been the happiest day I can remember'. He said in a melancholy tone which lifted at the end with a note of optimism. His words froze Rey, but his voice was so soft, his eyes so sleepily calm, that she wanted nothing more than to squeeze him to her. She felt guilty for her most recent, most selfish thought. How could she ever want him to be anything like his former dark self? After all the things Kylo had done, after all they had been through to bring him back… She said nothing, but wrapped her arms tightly around him, squeezing her eyes shut and burying her face into the damp locks on top of his head.

The Millennium Falcon's chronometer sounded its faulty automatic morning signal — broken long ago in an early-morning cranky-Chewbacca incident — the crackling beep of which only just managed to penetrate Rey's slumber. She lifted her heavy eyelids and looked down to find an unconscious Ben still tucked under her arm. She couldn't refrain from smiling at his innocent posture, his face pressed into her chest, his arm draped over her waist; it swelled her with a strange mix of flattery, excitement and comforting relief. Her hand which had been cradling him traced a swirling pattern over the hot bare skin of his back, before travelling upwards to brush the now dry, silky hair away from his forehead.

Having an almost full view of his face without him staring back at her was a first for Rey. Usually he would already be glaring at her with that angry, inquisitive expression or, at least in the last few days, in a new way that terrified her even more, forcing her to look away in embarrassment. Since he had joined her on Exegol, and especially now in sleep, the face of Kylo Ren that she had slashed and scarred was barely recognisable. It had relaxed from a permanently clenched mask of suffering, into a soft expression that made him appear both younger and wiser, and which made Rey feel at home. The strange thing was that, as far as Rey was concerned, he was still as beautiful as he had always been — a beauty which had bothered Rey every time she faced Kylo. Even more beautiful in fact. Her eyes followed the line dividing his strong, protruding brow, and down his long, straight nose, below which rested her favourite of his features: his broad red lips which were now pressed together, slightly smushed into her breast. Although they were closed now, his thick lashes resting on his cheeks, she recalled his dark eyes glimmering back at her in the firelight on Ahch-To a year ago as he had touched her fingers through the force bond. Since Exegol, however, they had been shining a bright hazel.

And there they suddenly appeared again, immediately finding her own. She had been caught.

Ben awoke to find himself in almost the exact position he had fallen asleep in, and despite being able to sense the world around him coming to life once more, the Falcon's bedroom was still trapped in its artificial yellow glow. He then became aware of something immediately more important: his muzzle was pushed into one of Rey's breasts which, beneath her soft, thin t-shirt, responded to the movement of his face. He could never have imagined flesh to be so delicate, and he deeply regretted every slash of a lightsaber he ever made in her direction. He also chose to ignore the stirring in his groin which greeted him yet again.

'Morning?' his voice cracked as he regrettably raised his head from her and rubbed one eye with the heel of his palm. 'You're very comfortable,' he grinned.

Giggling, Rey lightly patted his back. 'The chrono seems to think so but it's a bit dodgy, so… we could have a few hours of bedtime left for all we know,' she teased, suggestively caressing the space between his shoulder blades.

'What a relief, I'm _pooped_!' he mocked, burying his face back into her shirt, breathing in her warmth.

Whatever might have come next, however, was dragged to a startling halt by a distant clanging and the sounds of Poe's muffled voice echoing down the corridor.

'Open uh-uup! The Gen— the Princess wants to see you!

They both jolted upright, Ben bumping his head on the bunk's ceiling with a mumbled 'Ow!'.

'Really?' Rey rolled her eyes in frustration before looking up at Ben who stood towering over the bed, rubbing his sore crown. What she wouldn't give to climb him like the rugged mountain he was... _in peace_.

Ben gave her a reassuring smile before heading to the bathroom. She paused to watch him walk away before breathlessly padding down towards the ship's exit, straightening herself up along the way, wishing she had her blaster tucked in her shorts to point between Poe's eyes. The boarding ramp lowered, slowly bringing that predictably smug face into view. She was tempted to raise it again and sprint back to the statuesque object around which all her thoughts revolved, but knew that she could never refuse Leia's commands.

'Hey. S'up,' Poe nodded, stepping up to the ramp and leaning with his arm against one of the lower struts. How Rey would love to smash that button again.

'What do you want?'

'Well good morning to you too, sunshine. I just came to let you know Leia is waiting on you… and _Ben_,' — he inclined his head to try and see anything that might be of interest behind her — 'to join everyone in central base. Word got around pretty quickly this morning that she's alive, that you two... well, she wants to make introductions'. He rolled his eyes slightly.

'What' s the…' Rey hesitated, wanting to know, but not wanting the happy bubble she had existed within since being left alone with Ben on the Falcon to burst. 'What's the general response?' she ventured. Then couldn't refrain a wince as she asked: 'Is Chewie back yet?'

'H'oh yeah, he's back. Almost came here looking for you himself. _You're welcome_'.

This tightened the knot in Rey's stomach. She wanted to return with a snide comment, but instead chose to smile. It wasn't Poe's fault after all. His constant sarcasm was just his way of dealing with the stress of Resistance life, and had somehow only increased since he became co-general.

'Thanks, we'll be down there in a minute'. She saw the surprise in his eyes, and was even more thankful when he simply nodded and stalked off towards the cavern.

Ben was nervous. He hated being the centre of attention, especially in a room full of people who hated him. He was used to that from life in the First Order, strutting around tables of officers and commanders, sensing their fear of displeasing him. This would be different. The rebels weren't afraid of him, in the same way they weren't afraid to fly straight into battle for the sake of the galaxy's freedom. They despised him he was sure, and the only way he would be able to protect himself would be to fight back. And so, he resolved, as he pulled on his long boots in the bathroom, that he would not attempt to protect himself.

There was a gentle knock at the door. He tapped the control pad so that it would swish open, and there stood Rey in a fresh set of almost-white practical clothes, her hair tied back in those three familiar loops. Leia's lightsaber was hooked onto her belt, and he wondered if she would expect him to take Luke's.

'Quit hogging the bathroom, Solo. Apparently the Resistance waits for nobody'.

Ben finished arranging the legs of his new pants inside his boots and stood up straight in the doorway. He was still getting used to them, but he loved her body's automatic responses to his approach. He never doubted her courage for she had plenty, but there was something in her eyes — a flash of uncertainty, perhaps even excitement — which revealed her innocence and her suspicion of intimacy. 'Yes, ma'am'.

She reached out and laid her palm on his chest which beat like a drum beneath the grey t-shirt. 'Grey. Not quite light and not quite dark,' she smirked.

'What can I say? You bring me balance'. He lowered his face to hers as if for a kiss, but he lingered just short of her mouth to watch the change in her face. Eyes closed, her mouth relaxed and gently parted further, an air of suspension surrounded every inch of her. A slight variation, an earlier stage perhaps, of how she had looked last night just prior to their mutual climax. Dazzling.

As if wondering what the hold up was, Rey half opened her eyes to see him searching her, instantly becoming self-conscious. Before she could back away his mighty hand found the back of her neck and scooped her face up to meet his own. She didn't try to stop him when he pulled away after a moment of tender bliss, but hovered there, neck still outstretched, eyes still closed in a dreamy smile. When her eyes did eventually open they screamed at him hungrily, longing for more. His breath hitched like it seemed to do every time she took him by surprise, just like it did when she asked him to _give it to her_ on the old Death Star. Hers were the only words that had ever distracted him to the point of physically flinching. It wasn't the only physical reaction she stirred in him.

Ben swallowed. 'Are you ready to go?'

He thought he could hear her heart beating as her expression reluctantly shifted from that of a wild animal to a wounded one.

'But I don't want to,' she pouted.

He took her hand and led her down the corridor to the exit. Standing before the key that releases the boarding ramp sent a chill up his spine. He remembered begging his father to let him tinker here and there about the Falcon and always being told _no!_ But pushing the button was Ben's job, and his alone as long as he was on board. The last time he stood there he had to reach overhead to push it, as Chewie's furry hand had ruffled his hair. Rey sensed the unease this flood of nostalgia had raised in him.

'Are _you _ready?' she looked up at him, elevating her eyebrows, her hand still inside his. Ben didn't answer, but reached for the control pad and watched as the ramp lowered before them.

Early morning sun broke through the canopy overhead bringing the forest floor to life. Rey's body was working overtime; despite feeling much better after last night's relieving activities she was still fatigued from the exertions of the past week, both mentally and physically. Her mind was anxiously ticking with the amount of change occurring in her life. Knowing who her parents were, that they no longer existed, meant her sole reason for surviving on Jakku all those years no longer applied. Before last year she had very rarely interacted with anybody, hardly knowing what intimacy meant. Then upon meeting Finn it was all handshakes and hugs from then on. _Then_ came Kylo Ren. The Force. Their bond. It had been a significant leap from being completely alone in the galaxy to having somebody else inside her head.

Now things had changed in a different way. This, now, whatever it was. His body towering over her, but not in the threatening way she had become used to. His mind united with her own, at first involuntarily, but now apparently at their will. This man, who had once terrified and riled her to no end, had become Rey's new fuel. The kiss they had just now shared on the ship had fired something in her, something deeper than what she had experienced at his touch the night before. Almost overpowering.

They trunched through the bracken towards centre base, each silently drowning in apprehension of what lay ahead despite looking forward to seeing Leia again. A twig snapped ahead of them, causing their heads to whip up in unison to see Lando approaching. Before she could think about what she did, Rey snatched her hand out of Ben's.

'Well, well,' said Lando, looking between them. This was one of very few times Rey had heard him take a serious tone. 'I heard young Solo had returned'.

'Lando. The last time we met I wasn't very respectful towards you. I don't expect you to forgive—'

'Ben. I don't believe we have met since you were a child?' He gave a knowing smile, tipping his chin upwards at the younger man.

Ben offered a smile of peace and defeat, which Lando returned with a stride forward and solid handshake.

'You're here for good now, son. Leia won't let you out of her sight again. That goes for both of you,' threatened the caped captain, pointing at Rey and Ben each in turn. 'Now you'd better go on,' he said, taking the same unbeaten path they had taken to the Falcon.

When Lando was further out of sight Ben turned back and continued towards the base.

'You know Lando?' asked Rey, trotting behind him, deeply regretting letting go.

He briefly glanced over his shoulder, but continued in his long stride. Rey watched his arms swing pendulously ahead before noticing how every step forward caused his trousers to pull taut across his behind. _Would it be weird if I touched it? _she thought, before tripping over an unruly tree root.

'He was sort of friends with my dad and Chewie back when I was a kid… but he and I had a run in a few years ago. Luckily his ship got away before anything could happen'. He sounded thoughtful.

_Probably not the best time to grope him_. She caught up and kept pace alongside him until they reached the edge of the trees, where he stopped dead. There were people. People looking.

_Can you sense the tension? _

Rey gulped. There was no need to be Force sensitive to feel it; she could probably slice the atmosphere with her saber. Now should she take the confident, _everything-is-fine_ attitude, or should she take things slowly, show them that she recognised their apprehensions, that she understood their potential desire for revenge on Ben?

She decided to just keep walking. Passing Ben, she handed out some nervous smiles as she cut through the parting crowd. She turned back and gestured for Ben to follow her the rest of the way. He cautiously obeyed.

Some heads followed them, a few turned away, not sure what their reaction should be. Rey sensed one particularly resentful mind nearby, full of hate, which set her on edge, despite being able to pinpoint where or who it came from. She quickened her pace towards the cavern.

Upon entering the vast cool space, dimmer now in comparison to the morning sunlight, a large gathering of people stood around the central meeting area where they usually gathered to strategise. The group turned and parted, revealing the tiny princess. As usual her hair had shifted into a different variation of braid. She wore a lilac tunic tied at the waist and a deep purple cape which surrounded her arms and flowed down to her calves. As ever she wore that same warm smile which she gifted to those she loved who returned to her. Rey's guts wrenched at the sight of Chewie at Leia's side, a deeply troubled expression ingrained into his usually kind and welcoming face.

Rey and Ben approached the semi circle of onlookers, aware of those from outside gathering behind them. They halted to stand boldly side by side. She felt his presence in her mind still, and it comforted her, despite the relentless negativity which worried at his consciousness.

'My babies,' Leia said, much to the surprise of everybody within earshot. Especially Rey. 'I hope you are both well rested after your efforts' — She swept her hands down herself to gesture her meaning — 'I will be ever in your debt'.

Rey reflected her broad smile. Ben worked his jaw, inwardly processing the fresh vision of his mother before him, alive and well.

Leia stepped forwards a few paces and straightened up in her most regal manner to address the majority of the Resistance who now filled the cavern.

'Everybody should know by now that I am no longer your General, after my absence over the last couple of days. Poe and Finn are the heads of the Resistance from here on, but I'll be here, fighting alongside you for as long as I can stand'. She cast her eyes around the cavern, raining smiles upon everyone. She was like a comforter. Rey could sense the ease washing over the entire space.

'You have probably all heard how I come to be standing here once again, having apparently risen from the dead. Those closest to me know the sacrifice I had to make for my family, for the future of the galaxy. Well, the gamble paid off, because now I get to introduce to you my son'.

There was a restless shuffle around the room, the uneasiness returning as quickly as it had subsided. Rey's whole body tensed, the fine hair on her arms bristled. She was surprised to feel no change in Ben, who had been suspiciously deadpan since their meeting with Lando.

'I don't expect everybody to be able to forgive what has passed. Many of you have lost loved ones in this war, have fought hard against the first order. But Ben has been fighting something else. Something much more sinister than many of you could ever imagine. When Palpatine spoke up across the galaxy, we all felt a dark sense of dread and fear — you wouldn't be fooling anyone if you tried to deny it. Ben has had that voice in his head since he was a child, twisting and manipulating him until it was too late for any of his family to intervene. His downfall was his family's fault, but as his mother I will protect him with my life to make up for the mistakes I have made'.

There was a rumble of chatter amongst the people, until a disturbance in the back caused a sudden silence that made Rey whip around. The crowd split apart as a woman in Resistance colours with silver hair sprinted through the widening gap, blaster in hand.

'Bastard! The word tore from her throat as her sprint slowed to a panting stride. She raised the blaster in the direction of Ben, releasing the safety. It was somebody Rey had never met properly, but her face was definitely familiar. She didn't have time to ponder, however, as she found herself involuntarily running forwards, placing herself between this crazed woman and Ben.

'Rey—' she heard Ben call as a warning from behind her. But the stranger wasn't stopping.

'Lower your weapon!' Rey growled.

'You killed my husband,' snarled their antagonist, leaning as she walked to see Ben over Rey's shoulder. 'Snap is dead, and that's on you!' she said, thrusting the blaster forward and pulling the trigger.

It all happened incredibly fast. Rey was blocking Ben's view of their challenger, but he was under no illusion that her accusations were aimed at Rey. He lunged ahead to her side to see the blaster thrusting towards Rey from a matter of metres. Without thinking twice he dragged her behind him by the back of her tunic and grasped the blaster's beam in mid air with his invisible power. _Wonder how often this is going to happen_, he thought, trying to distract himself from the fact that this beam, that was meant for him, would have easily gone right through Rey's chest.

Ben only held the beam in place, remembering his resolution not to defend himself with the force, and the woman, after frustratedly checking her blaster and realising what was going on, moved to fire a second round. Ben heard Rey expel some noise, the most sinister he had ever heard come from within her, before feeling her shake from his grip and shove past him, bursting forth with an energy which sent both beams off in different directions towards the cavern ceiling and the woman flying backwards off her feet. Her blaster fell from her hand, but before it could reach the ground Rey drew it through the air into her own grasp while simultaneously swishing alight Leia's saber. The onlooking crowd backed away towards the walls, a sound of muffled panic reverberating around the room. Ben watched on, half impressed, half concerned in anticipation of the crowd's reaction as Rey strode in the direction of their attacker who now laid sprawled on the cavern floor.

'Who are you?' challenged Rey. The winded woman, now unarmed, began climbing to her feet. Rey pushed her back down again with the Force. 'Look, clearly you are in pain, but a lot of people here are. I understand that you are in mourning but you have to explain yourself'.

The woman let out a roar of fury, tears filling her red eyes. 'Don't you fucking dare, you don't know me. You've barely been here five minutes and you strut around like you own the damn place because you're strong with the Force. Well I don't give a rats ass about you — your _boyfriend_ over there is the reason my husband is dead'.

_That word again_. He had never imagined himself being described as anybody's _boyfriend_.

The woman's head snapped in the direction of Poe who had stood aghast beside Leia, poised to join the scuffle at any moment. 'How could you let this happen, General? Poe!? Snap was one of your best friends—'

'Karé, please. I know you're hurting but— Snap died fighting for the Resistance, like so many of our friends. Rey and— and Ben— they saved who they could. They aren't to blame for what happened on Exegol'.

'_He_ picked a real good time to turn didn't he?' spat Karé, turning back to Ben. 'Right at the fall of the First Order? How convenient for everybody!'

'Enough!'

The whole crowd turned to see Leia step forward from her place. 'Karé, Rey and Ben are the _reason_ we are standing here today. The Final Order fleet would be spread across the galaxy by now if they hadn't eliminated Palpatine. I appreciate you have lost your husband, but you would have lost a whole lot more if it wasn't for these two'. Her hand gestured to Ben and Rey. He looked back to Rey whose face had softened into pity, perhaps even guilt.

Karé began to weep on the floor. Rey shook her head, as if coming to her senses, and released her from the force grip.

'I'm s-sor—' Rey whispered, before looking away from her only to collide glistening eyes with Ben's.

What could he see in them? It was clear she had experienced some kind of epiphany, but what had caused this sudden change? Whatever it was she wasn't sharing it. The sound of his mother's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

'Karé,' she said, 'and anybody else who is plotting an attack on these two. Know that I won't have it. If you want answers, all you have to do is ask. Remember what you, as members of the Resistance, stand for'.

Rey holstered her weapons and held out a hand to Karé. She stared at it for a moment, a breath of pure sadness escaping her lips, before submitting her hand to Rey who pulled her up. Once on her feet she snatched her hand away, looked nobody in the eye, only glanced at Ben with disdain, and stalked back out of the cavern. Ben saw somebody try to comfort her but she only shook her head and continued on her own out of sight.

What now? Would anybody else step forward and blast him in the face? Ben was awash with discomfort, less for his own welfare than for the pain etched into Rey's face. A face which, before his very eyes, morphed into alarm as he felt an enormous shadow cast over him from behind and a heavy weight land upon his shoulder. There was no doubt as to who his next challenge came from.

Ben didn't have to look up to people very often, but there had always been one particular exception, one who would always make him feel like a little boy. He turned now, looking up at the old wookie, whose expression the last time he had seen it had stabbed him in the chest.

'I'm so sorry... I—'

Now though, much to Ben's surprise, Chewie looked down at him with light in his eyes. Before Ben could finish his sentence he was pulled into a tight wookie hug, his back cracking in several places and a gurgling roar of forgiveness ringing in his ears.

'I missed you too, uncle Chewie,' he wheezed, a chuckle escaping as his body was compressed. 'Can we catch up on the Falcon later?'

His old friend nodded with a friendly growl, stepping back and ruffling Ben's mop of black hair.

Rey watched on, mouth agape at Chewie's reaction to Ben's presence which was the complete opposite of what she had expected after the emotions he had displayed the previous evening. Watching Ben hug somebody from an outside perspective was strange. She was so used to seeing him standing solitary, or in an aggressive stance, forever fighting. When Chewie stepped back Ben instinctively ran his fingers through his hair as he turned to glance at Rey, exasperated. Rey was perplexed. She wanted to get him out of there, to have him back to herself. To get to know the Ben that had been pushed back for all those years, the Ben Leia and Chewie loved all along. But there was so much to be discussed, she would now have to share him with everybody else. He needed to find friends, to bond with his remaining family. What was Rey to him in all this now that the fight was as good as over? Just another consciousness he was connected to through no choice of his own? What if Kylo Ren had only wanted her for her power? Perhaps now Ben was in control he would be more interested in returning to those he loved. This was a harrowing thought to Rey, who during the revelation of Karé's loss had realised just how she would feel if she lost Ben.

'Rey,' came Leia's voice as she approached, making her jump out of her own skin. Before locking eyes on her mentor she cast a glance around. The crowd remained, appearing somewhat more comfortable now that danger had subsided, watching intently to see what was going to happen next in this weird family drama. _Ignore them_, she thought, _focus on Leia. If they had any decency they'd go about their business_. Then she remembered that they had all been called there for introductions to their most recent and controversial addition.

'Are you alright?' the question was accompanied by a motherly hand on her shoulder.

'Yes. I mean, I really want to get out of here, but yeah I'm fine,' Rey scoffed.

Leia chuckled. 'You're new to affection. You will soon get more used to that now Ben's around, I'm sure'.

Rey's cheeks blazed.

'Jeez, look at you, we better wrap this up fast so you can go and get lost for a time. Clear your head. Do you mind me stealing Ben for a little while? I can make your excuses'.

Rey didn't want to leave unless Ben was with her, but she had no idea how to explain this to his mother without turning purple. 'I could stay?'

'Absolutely not Rey, you clearly need to get some air, you haven't had space for a while and I know you need your solitude'.

This was her biggest downfall. She could not reveal her emotions, could never just admit what she truly felt.

'Okay. Thanks Leia, is there anything you want me to do, to say, before I—'

'No, they'll understand. Everybody loves you Rey, take no heed of what Karé said. She is taking the loss of Wexley very hard, as can be expected. They were so recently married…' Leia trailed off into a sad reverie before snapping herself back out of it. 'Go on. We're having a feast this evening which I want to see you at. Go clear your head!'

Rey knew that the princess could never hold any malice, that she was saying what she thought Rey really wanted to hear. Rey, however, wanted nothing more than to be with Ben.

_Perhaps that's a good enough reason to get some time away_, she thought, and resolved to go for a hike to the pool as she had planned.

Ben had been watching this entire transaction between his mother and Rey while half interacting with Chewie about beating his ass at a game of dejarik later on, trying to figure out what was happening. He caught Rey's eye as she turned to leave, but all she could offer him was a smile and a gentle shrug which, while she intended it to suggest "sorry, I have no choice, see you later I guess?" it only conveyed "right, I'm out, see you around". She broke their gaze and headed out into the bright morning.


	7. Chapter 7: The Spring

Once she had made it to the foot of the boarding ramp Rey couldn't even remember how she had got there. Her mind was swimming with the morning's events; the more she thought about her present situation the more confused she became. When she reached the crew's quarters the first thing she saw was the wrinkled duvet upon which she and Ben had laid together all night. She stopped to look at it for a moment, swallowed. It had been sheer luck that the ship had been empty for the whole night — would she actually have to find him a place to sleep away from herself tonight? Rey perched on the edge, looking down and caressing the sheet beneath her. Then, expelling a burst of frustration out of nowhere, she threw herself back onto the bed, screwing up her eyes. Where was all this frustration coming from? It was laughable, she thought. Ben was so calm and collected, going through so much more than her, yet here she was having a paddy because… Because why?

Rey jumped up and began running around the ship, aggressively stuffing her satchel with a towel and soap — soap which manifested a fresh memory of the bathroom episode the night before — and in the next minute was kicking off into a jog from the foot of the boarding ramp.

_Run the course. You'll feel better. Run the course. Even if you can't finish it. As soon as the ramp had returned upright she began sprinting in the direction of Leia's starting line._

Rey took in the familiar surroundings as she ran across the thin hilltop which divided two vast valleys of dense forest, a gentle sheen beginning to glisten across her forehead, a dusky pink rising beneath the freckled surface of her cheeks. Usually the scenery never failed to fill her with awe as she struggled to control her breathing, but this time her entire body felt steady. _Ready_. Upon reaching the awaiting helmet she barely slowed her pace, scooping it up onto her head and pulling the blast shield down over her face. Despite the immediate darkness, her feet knew exactly where they had to go. Tuning into her surroundings she found the thick vine which bridged across the deep canyon between herself and the rest of the course. She readied her lightsaber as the whizzing sound of the remote droid grew nearer, pleasure tingling in her core when she heard the _bzzshew _of the saber's blade at the flick of her thumb.

The remote began shooting at her, but Rey was determined not to get stung this time. She had felt the nip of its tiny lasers too many times before. Now Rey channelled the focus she knew she could possess when she really needed to, deflecting with all her might, managing to maintain her balance until reaching the other side. The remote offered a respite, allowing her an opportunity to leap onto the opposite ledge and speed towards the half-way point. Running at top speed, Rey felt slight regret at not bringing BB-8 with her, although after last time it was probably for the best. His exterior wouldn't handle another falling tree.

Occasionally having to defend herself from the jabs of the remote which buzzed around her, she managed to reach the enormous tree from which suspended the familiar red ribbon. It had not been replaced since her last run when she had been so distracted by darker forces, when she was still unfamiliar with the extent of her bond with Kylo Ren. The ribbon hung shorter, its edge scorched from her saber. Rey didn't stop, but sprang from a mossy fallen trunk in her path up to the lowest branch. With help from the Force, she swung herself up to another, then the next, and sliced through the ribbon at its highest point. She snatched the length as she fell to her feet, the forest floor snapping beneath her, and kicked back from the trunk towards the starting line. Eventually she made it back to the canyon where she made the giant leap, again propelling herself forward with the force back to the other side. She usually dismounted this jump with a roll, but this time she could feel the extra control she had over every muscle. Her feet came crashing down, rooting into the earth, and there, firmly on the other side, she turned her full attention back to the remote.

_I can do this…_

As the remote flitted in and out of her eye line, Rey focused on a deeper level of consciousness. She remembered her training so far, remembered what had worked for her in the field — fighting against real beings, against Kylo — and what hadn't. Closing her eyes and grounding herself, tying every fibre of her being to her surroundings, she located the remote in the Force and swung. Her attack was not of a violent kind, but more of a choreographed dance. Rey's breathing slowed as the strokes of her blade came closer and closer to the agile machine with every swing. A swerve, a final duck below one of the tiny blasts, and she rose again like lightning, meeting the vicious little orb with the full force of her lightsaber.She stood in a wide stance, gasping for breath in disbelief, laughing as she watched the two semi-spheres fall into the canyon's depths.

Elated, Rey hooked her newest saber onto her belt. Perhaps that was her good luck charm. It did feel much more comfortable in her grip than Luke's had, although still not as natural as her staff. But then again, she considered the amount of experience she had gained since the last time she tested herself, and it was clear to her now that, in reality, she had already completed her Jedi training. She had been, for a fleeting moment on Exegol, _all _the Jedi. Her panting began to subside and she smiled through the slight burn in her lungs. The knot in her stomach had been replaced with a gentle flutter.

Becoming aware of the cooling moisture on her skin, Rey realised it was time to get herself cleaned up, and could think of nothing that would make her happier than taking a dip in her secret pool. She set off back in the direction of the ribbon tree, crossing the canyon again but at a relaxed pace this time, allowing herself the opportunity to bask in the beautiful morning. In fact, most mornings on Ajan Kloss were beautiful, but Rey was often too distracted to notice. Its atmosphere was hot which she heard many people complain about, but it was no hotter than what she had grown used to in her years on Jakku. Instead of a dry, burning heat, the air was moist and often shaded by the vast canopy of the surrounding forests and mountains. An added bonus was the amount of easily accessible water surrounding the base camp. There was a main stream which they gathered water from and Rey had discovered a handful of smaller bodies dotted around the mountain; however, none of them made her feel as safe, secluded, and at one with nature as the pool to which she was now headed.

After about thirty minutes of strolling away from the furthest point of her training course, stopping now and again to admire the flora and fauna, Rey reached the hillside which hid the pool from her view. It was sheltered on two sides by the hills between which it was sunk, and a third side was a base of another mountain, all densely covered with tall trees.

The pool itself was blue in some places, green in others, but every inch was completely clear which made its bed of smooth rock and pebbles visible. Just off centre was a deeper recess in the bed, in and out of which tiny shoals of fish darted. Trees and dense foliage surrounded its banks, and in one corner a shelf of moss-covered rock which jutted out from the base of the mountain overhung the water. Sunlight breaking through the high canopy glittered on the surface which reflected and danced against the slanted underside of the rock. Rey couldn't wait to swim through the crystal-clear water and get a closer look, to explore the pool's floor with her toes, to study the tiny creatures that called it home.

Rey continued on around it's grassy edge, weaving in and out of the trees towards the clearest plain near the rock. She located the ideal spot in which she had placed her belongings on each visit and dropped down onto the cool grass to remove her boots. She stopped for a moment and looked around, sighing with utter delight at the surrounding greenery. So much greenery, so much moisture. Of all the planets and moons in the galaxy, why did she have to be left on Jakku? Her stomach grumbled just thinking about her years of malnutrition on that baron planet. That was one thing she had forgotten to bring.

_No matter, I've been hungrier, Rey resolved. She then recalled the feast Leia had mentioned, and looked forward to the evening more than anything. When was the last time she had allowed herself to look forward to something? Or rather, had something to look forward to? And it wasn't just the food she craved. It was the company. The many acquaintances, the woman she had adopted as her surrogate mother. And now Ben. _

The sun beamed down on her now, warning the front of her tunic and trousers and hitting nerve endings all across her front. She outstretched her legs and tipped back her head, basking for a few moments in the glorious morning. Sticky from her exertion on the training course and the short hike, Rey decided it was time to quit procrastinating and take her clothes off. This was a combination of her favourite and least favourite thing about public bathing. She adored the feel of the air on her skin and the cool water reaching places that were best left ignored while being surrounded by people, which recently was _all the time. However, she could not shake the knowledge that a stranger could happen upon her at any moment. Although it was incredibly unlikely, as she had never witnessed another soul this far from camp before, the clear water offered no protection from prying eyes. At least she had the force to protect her, which was her only consolation._

Today she had left the arm bands and accessories out of her dressing, being sure there were going to be no scrapes or scuffles against which she needed extra protection — how wrong she had been — which left only a tunic and her trousers to remove. She tugged the fitted fabric over her head, catching all three of her buns along the way. Beneath her day clothes she wore a small comfortable vest which helped to secure her chest as she ran. As she'd grown older with nobody to ask about what to do about the discomfort of running and jumping around, she figured out the problem herself over time, having tried binding for a while, but ultimately inventing her own supportive solution. This was now also removed, introducing her bare breasts to the outside world of Ajan. After shuffling out of her trousers and pants, she rolled them neatly beside her satchel before slinking down the bank into the initially cool water which made her breath catch and release with an amused shudder. The water at the pool's edge looked much shallower than it truly was; she was always shocked when it rose all the way up to her waist. She removed her hair ties and threw them back onto the bank with her things, shaking her hair into loose ringlets. Tiptoeing out a little further towards the centre, Rey allowed her legs to buckle beneath her and sank below the surface, her breath rushing overhead in a curtain of bubbles.

As people gradually dispersed the cavern began to feel less intimidating to the Resistance base's most controversial new guest. He had been welcomed by many, some still not comfortable approaching him but simply giving a small wave, and a few more still unable to look him fully in the eye. He hadn't seen any more of the woman who tried to kill him, but he was certain she couldn't be the only person on that moon to feel the same way.

Leia sat across from him now, conversing animatedly with Lieutenant Connix about the feast they were planning. Upon their introduction earlier, Connix, despite her consistently stern expression, had held out her hand to be shaken. This, out of pure intimidation, he had submitted to doing immediately which drew a tiny smile upon her mouth that remained for no more than a second.

'Welcome home, Ben Solo, your mom has told me so much about you'.

Ben had glanced at his mother over Connix's shoulder, smiled and rolled his eyes. They had spoken for a few minutes before another had approached him. Watching her speak to Leia now gave him the impression they were very close.

_I'm sorry I haven't been there, mom, he thought, allowing himself an inward sigh._

Ben looked around himself now, watching everybody going about their business after what must, for all of them, have been a very unusual and troubling start to the day.

He hated to admit it to himself but there had been one person in particular who had been seated in the back of his mind throughout this entire high-stakes meet-and-greet ordeal.  
'Usually when she needs to get away she visits the training course I planned out for her,' hinted his wise mother, making him jump, seeing clearly through his lost expression. 'Pass the Falcon and keep heading north-east, I'm sure you'll manage to pick up her trail'.

Ben then realised just how close Rey and Leia had grown in their pursuit of him. He felt a flutter in his stomach, unable to suppress the smile appearing on his lips. Leia smiled back as he rose from his seat.

'But Ben,' she continued, a warning in her voice, 'she is used to solitude. It's clear she craves more, but be wary not to overwhelm her. She's never had a family before ours'.

The word family hit Ben like a brick. He had never thought of Rey as his family before. Always this enigmatic outsider — some _girl — that he could never access. Now, he supposed, she was his family, in one way or another. But Rey was also more than that to him. She was almost a part of him, in a way that made both perfect sense and no sense at all. Like Luke and Leia, only for them the bond had been simple; they were brother and sister, and that was that._

'We are taking care of each other,' he assured her. 'It's been great meeting you, Lieutenant'.

Offering a final broad smile to his mother and Connix, Ben turned about to exit the cavern at a rate which he hoped wouldn't draw any more attention to himself.

Following Leia's instructions he eventually came to a small canyon deep in the forest with a long, thin tree trunk forming a bridge across it. On the far side he could see an abandoned helmet lying in the bracken. Pouncing across the beam with feline dexterity, he stooped to pick it up, instantly recognising it as something he had worn before. Luke had once placed one of these on his head, snapping shut the opaque shield visor before releasing two training remotes on Ben. He had struck them down in under a minute with his uncle's lightsaber, while it had taken the other students an age to hit just one. This must be a part of her training course.

Ben dropped the helmet where he found it and carried on, breaking into a jog. He noted that the clothes he wore now were far more suited to this humid weather than his usual black tunic and cape, and was thankful for the fine fabric stretching across his chest. He kept running until he approached a tree with a red ribbon suspended from one of its high branches. Upon closer inspection he saw that the ribbon's end was scorched. Ben chuckled, experiencing another wave of memories from his frustrated teenhood, stranded with his weird uncle.

Returning to the present, Ben could sense that Rey had been here recently. If he closed his eyes he could see visions of her flitting up and down the tree, running back the way he had just come. But he knew exactly which direction he would find her in. He wouldn't be able to explain it to a jury if his life depended upon it, but he knew that if he followed the path ahead it would lead him to her.

The day was approaching its hottest point, and Ben could feel it in every step. He continued jogging through the forest, following his gut feeling — _where was this skill when I was tracking the scavenger across the galaxy? _he thought, tongue in cheek — for a short while until he reached the base of a steep hill, but still no break in the trees. He followed the curve of the hillside, stopping when he saw he was approaching the edge of a broad, sheltered clearing. Upon a closer look he realised the floor of the clearing was almost entirely water which mirrored the blue sky, and around the edges the dappled shadow of the overhanging canopy. The body of water was about as large in diameter as the Falcon, bordered with slopes on all sides other than the way he had come, providing optimum privacy from almost every direction.

The sun glaring in through the clearing forced him to shade his eyes as he scanned the area. All was silent besides the distant rustles and chirps of the forest and Ben's own pulse in his ears. He crunched forward to the edge of the bank where the bracken dispersed, revealing the soft grass which struggled out from beneath. The water was incredibly clear, the pebbles on the bed glowing a precious blue. It was a spring, similar to one he knew from his early days on Naboo. He saw nobody around, but quickly spotted a white heap laid on the grass on the far side of the water. At first it felt like his heart had stopped as the sight brought back the image of Rey lying dead on Exegol, but a disturbance towards the centre of the spring grabbed his attention. Dismissing it as a small surge in its source, he focused again on the heap, only to realise it was a bag, and what looked like… clothes? Before Ben's imagination could come close to whipping anything together, the surface of the spring broke with a splash and out of it rose the head of Rey, water streaming over her face and hair, the droplets of water twinkling around her in the sunlight.

She treaded water for a moment, wiping her eyes, before swimming forward a short way, then carelessly rolling onto her back. The brief appearance of her breasts on the surface snapped Ben out of his apparent paralysis and he realised he definitely should not be standing there gawking like some schoolboy, that he should leave her to her privacy. But it was too late, of course; she had sensed him. There was no way they could be around each other without instantly being aware of it.

He watched with regret as she turned her head in his direction, saw her face turn to alarm.

'Ben!' she spluttered as she forced her body to sink back to the depths.

'I'm sorry! I just got here, I promise… I didn't see…' _What? What didn't you see? You moron— _

'How did you find—' Rey began, before clearly realising what Ben just had. 'I didn't think you'd follow—'

'Don't worry, I'll head back. I'm sorry, I didn't think, I don't want to disturb your time alone—'

'Have you been talking to Leia?' she grinned, squinting her eyes against the dazzling light.

'She's insistent that I need alone time away from the base'.

Ben had turned to walk away, but now wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. Did he turn around again? Or keep facing away? Definitely face away. Yeah, more polite to not ogle.

'She might have mentioned it… Clearly I should have taken her advice'.

'I'm glad you didn't'.

His ears pricked and he felt a tingle in his back. He didn't say anything, but continued to face away. She was giggling now.

'You can turn around you know, I'm covered'.

'You do know this water is like looking through a window, right?' Ben teased, turning, joy bubbling beneath the surface.

'Go put your stuff by mine,' she said, pointing at the pile, sending a rainbow of water arcing away from herself. 'Come in, it's lovely'.

He grinned at her, a quiet nervous giggle escaped through his teeth. Weaving through the trees he made his way to the rocky ledge beside which her belongings laid in the shaded grass. She watched him the whole way, and he suddenly became self-conscious when it came to stripping in front of her.

'Excuse me, do you mind?' he teased further, trying to take the edge off his own glaring awkwardness.

Rey took the hint and disappeared below, kicking her feet above. He took a second to watch out of the corner of his eye. How was this happening? Surely he didn't deserve this kind of welcome for his intrusion on her privacy. _Perhaps it's a trap_, he thought, watching her legs splash in and out of the water as he bent to remove his boots. In his mind she was no longer anybody he knew, no longer his _family_, as his mother had put it. She was ethereal, some untameable forest nymph who was luring him in and was about to destroy him.

Rey couldn't deny that she was nervous, that she had no idea which deep, dark corner of herself this present outward confidence had emerged from. She lingered beneath the water, admiring her subaquatic view, but knew she couldn't resist taking a peek at where her interests really laid. Gently coming up with the pretence of needing oxygen so soon, Rey caught him about to pull off his t-shirt, glancing at the small patches of sweat beneath his arms as he pulled it up. His body. Oh, _Force_, his body again, pale against the shade of the trees and illuminated by the day. He was keeping himself faced toward the rock, but Rey had an excellent view of his profile, his whole left side, his obliques as they flexed when he tugged his shirt overhead, plunging into his waistband. She looked away quickly as she saw his head turn slightly in her direction, pretending to admire the trees on the opposite bank. Braving another glance, she was transfixed as his trousers were pulled down and he stepped out of them. His bare legs took her straight back to Ahch-to and she felt a similar helplessness, a particular fizz in her stomach at both the thought and the feeling of the water between her legs. Ben turned towards the water now, and so towards her. Luckily — because she couldn't drag her eyes away from the full frontal show she didn't know she had been longing for — he didn't look at her, but placed all his attention on getting himself into the water. Rey used this time to take in as much of him as she could while he was oblivious — his broad silhouette, the determined expression on his slightly pained face as he navigated the bank. She wasn't used to seeing him so unguarded. It made her position feel somewhat more powerful, allowing her to own her confidence.

Ben dropped into the water. Along with his vulnerability, Rey's upper hand disappeared. Once submerged, he looked her straight in the face. She involuntarily crossed her arms over her body, but quickly discovered that was impossible if she wanted to stay afloat. She learnt a little more about swimming every time she encountered water, but for the first time somebody else was watching. This only added to her panic.

Before she knew it Ben was swimming towards her, relief written across his face.

'I'm surprised you know how to swim. Can't imagine there was much in the way of springs or rivers on Jakku'.

'I've been teaching myself,' she said, not meaning to sound quite so defensive. Springs?

'This is a spring. Does anybody else know about it?'

'I don't think so. I mean, I hope not, she chuckled, looking down at herself through the water.

Rey hoped that Ben could see as little of her as she could of him while they were both safely beneath the still, mirror-like surface. He stopped about two meters away from her and grinned. She wondered what at, suddenly hating that she was completely naked. Before she could ask, he dove under.

The water felt like heaven on his skin after just a short jog in this atmosphere. He wasn't used to living in such humidity, let alone working out in it. He let it cool every part of him, already dreaded getting out of the water. _The clear water._Although he had never been fond of the sensation, without hesitation he instantly opened his eyes beneath the water at the promise of what he would see.

And there it was. Rey's bare body glowed in front of him, dappled bright aqua and green by the water's rippling surface. Her legs kicked away, keeping her afloat over the deeper part of the spring; he watched the flesh of her thighs quiver in the pressure of the water, stared for perhaps too long at the small mound of chestnut hair which connected them, then to the curves of her waist, her navel, up to her breasts. All of her, neck to toe, was both everything and nothing like what he had imagined for so long. No matter how different it was to how he had previously pictured during his time alone — a female body he had sculpted after what he thought fitted his own taste — this sight was infinitely more beautiful, purely because it really belonged to Rey. She could have had four arms, or tentacles even, he would have adored each one of them if they belonged to her. All he knew now was that what he _could _see, he wanted to touch, to hold, after a lifetime of waiting, after more than a year of longing for this girl — this _woman_ — who offered him not only intimacy but also the other missing half of his soul.

Rey watched the top of Ben's head as it sank, his hair disappearing in a fizz of escaping bubbles. Being aware that he could probably see _everything _gave her gooseflesh all over. She had never experienced such vulnerability, never been so unguarded from scrutiny, and absolutely _never _had she cared this much about what she looked like! After what felt like ten minutes, which in fact had been about ten seconds, Rey lost her patience — but more so her nerve — and kicked about to swim away. Yes. A good turn about the _spring_. That would definitely distract her from the anxieties creeping in on her lovely day.

She managed about three strokes in the opposite direction before feeling a firm grip around one of her ankles. Panic pushed Rey's heart into her throat and she yelped aloud. She heard the water break behind her and turned her head to see him emerge, spouting a fountain of water from his mouth and pushing back the hair which attempted to cling to his eyes. He still clung to her ankle, and her lack of ability to kick resulted in her head going under in a way which very much felt like drowning to such an inexperienced swimmer. Rey's eyes were tightly closed as her body convulsed in a brief passion of fear; however, before she could convince herself that Ben was actually trying to kill her, she felt the hold on her leg release. Something brushed against several different parts of her body simultaneously, until the grip on her ankle was replaced with a hand on each side of her ribs, pulling her upwards. Her arms, which she had been flailing around in an attempt to remember how to swim normally, automatically latched around the first solid object within their grasp. When she opened her eyes, she found that object to be Ben. Specifically, his bare neck and shoulders.

'It's okay! It's okay, Rey, I'm sorry, _again_… I didn't think — obviously! Are you alright?'

She allowed the hands which clung to his shoulders to pull herself in, aided by his own which still grasped her under the arms. Closer now, her arms hooked around his neck to anchor her to him. Rey now realised she was trembling. She closed her eyes and laughed. Ben laughed too, probably for lack of knowing what else he could do, and wrapped one arm round her back to allow his other to tread water with his legs.

'I'm going to drift back a bit, take us somewhere I can stand, okay?' Feeling her stiffen, he continued, 'I promise I won't let you go under again'.

She hesitated before nodding, which although he couldn't see, he understood from her ear brushing against his cheek.

Unsure of how exactly he did it without dunking her, Rey watched the bank draw nearer as Ben slowly propelled himself backwards; she felt like some cowardly breed of monkey clinging to him like a tree. He stopped, still quite a way from the edge, and stood upright in the water. The surface was level with his shoulders which meant it would still come up to her eyeballs if she were to let go. _Not just yet._

'You 'kay?' Ben whispered close by her ear.

'Mmhm'.

Now that he didn't need it to remain afloat, Ben's free arm joined the other one in supporting her light frame. His fingers felt like magic against the bare skin of her ribs, lying close beneath the under-swell of her breasts. She leaned back to look at him, and only then did Rey realise her chest had been pressed against him, her legs hanging against his.

'Think I might need to give myself a few more lessons before taking part in any more water-based activities,' Rey said through a chuckle.

'I'll be there to cheer you on if you like. Or at least watch you from the shadows, you know, make sure you don't drown,' he joked. Kind of.

'You seem to know what you're doing, maybe you could tell me where I'm going wrong'.

'I would _never…' he feigned shock. 'But really, if you do ever want me to teach you to swim I will happily do so, although you seemed to be getting the hang of it before I turned up and tried to kill you'._

'I'd like that,' she said, taking him by surprise and landing a delicate kiss on his cheek.

She hovered there a moment, glancing up to his eyes and back again to his mouth, until his grin shifted into an expression of a more serious nature. This was how it always started; they went from playful to serious in a split second. She moved in, kissing his mouth which was already open in eager anticipation of her arrival. Their lips, still dripping from their recent dip, pressed together coolly. To Rey's surprise she felt the tip of Ben's tongue, hot in comparison, touch her own before vanishing as quickly as it appeared. She felt a flutter transmit directly to _that place, and longed for him to do it again. Her legs rose up in the water in an attempt to get as close to him as possible. Ben took the hint and hoisted one leg between her thighs providing her with a seat, lifting her further up his body. This action drew a gasp from Rey as the embers of her sex began to blaze. Sensing he was about to ask her if she was okay again, she quickly rushed her fingers into his hair, holding his swollen mouth against hers. The pressure of his leg against her vulva was exquisite, and was only made more so by the cool slipperiness of the water and her own gyrations._

Despite Rey's grip about his neck and shoulders she could feel herself slipping. Ben's hands moved, first one, then the other, down to her bum and lifted her further up against his chest, lifting also with his knee. The movement spread her wide and she couldn't help letting a small noise escape her.

The soft hair of his leg tickled Rey's hypersensitive inner thighs as she gently rode it, introducing her own little tongue now, building the tingle where their bodies locked together, before he lowered his leg to the floor.

'Wrap your legs around me,' he demanded as he pulled her up further, adjusting his hands so they were under her now. She could sense a hint of desperation in his voice. It was the first time since abandoning the dark side that he had sounded like Kylo; it was like he was almost _begging her. His giant fingers splayed out to provide support in that sensitive spot where her bum met her upper thighs. The tips of his left fingers were deliciously close to her slit, and every tiny movement, every little squeeze made it ache with pleasure. _

Now that both legs were on the floor he began stepping backwards, continuing their kisses. Rey was aware of the water level lowering around her until he stopped walking, where it sloshed gently at her nipples. Without Ben's fingers moving an inch, Rey felt something beneath the water brush against her opening, causing her to yelp and flinch away from it.

'No! I wasn't trying to—'

Realising it was him, she laughed out of pure relief, releasing her breath. 'Shit, I thought it was—'

She was going to say _shit, I thought it was a fish or some creature of the deep but, upon realising the gravity of what he had just said, what they were very close to doing clicked in her mind and words completely escaped her. _

Rey glared at him, their faces incredibly close together. The brush had left her aching even more now she knew what had touched her, but what came next? She heard Ben swallow, felt his fingers flex against her delicate flesh causing her to squirm in his hands, her eyelids to flutter closed.

'Touch me,' she whispered, opening them again and searching his face.

He did nothing for a moment, just looked back in wonderment. But he wouldn't disobey her for long. His left hand drew her pelvis tighter against his abdomen to keep her in place, while the other slid further underneath from behind. She felt his broad middle finger slide down her slit towards the front of her which made her legs tighten on his hips.

They both sighed. Ben appeared to take as much pleasure from this as Rey did. His eyes wouldn't leave hers; it was as if he hung on her every response.

'You're soaked,' he sighed, almost whimpering.

She snickered, 'Well I am in a _spring,' not quite understanding. _

He chuckled, 'Not with water, with _you'. _

Rey frowned in confusion, until she remembered visiting the bathroom that morning and witnessing the slickness of herself. It had been a _lot more than usual. Was that normal? 'Oh, sorry—' _

'No, Rey, I think it means you're… uh, excited? Like how I get, uh, hard… you become more… easily accessible?'

'Oh,' she said, her face glowing now. 'Well, I suppose that explains why it only happens when you're in my head,' she smiled, speaking purely matter-of-factly, but he took the compliment anyway. It won her his most charming, most bashful grin.

'Ditto'. He continued to slide his finger back and forth, perhaps as a rewarding demonstration of how _ready she really was, hugging her against him with his other arm as she leaned back in for more hot kisses._

Their steamy tryst from the previous evening popped into Rey's head in her deep state of pleasure. She thought about what existed between Ben's legs, the thing that was apparently eager to be inside of her, and remembered what it had felt like for him when he exploded all over her. It had been different to anything she had ever experienced, and wondered if he would want to share in her own pleasure. It wasn't like she could reach him in this posture with her hands, and it felt selfish to be having _all the fun. _

'You're driving me crazy,' she breathed into him. 'Would you like to see?'

He laid fresh kisses on her lips, cheek and neck. 'See?'

'Perhaps— uhm— perhaps I can show you what it feels like. Like you showed me'.

He slowed his stroke, curious. 'Sure, I guess I could let you in,' he smirked.

'I think it's closer to me letting _you in', she smirked. _

Rey closed her eyes, grinding her pelvis against his front, and then back against the stroke of his finger, which now occasionally dipped slightly into the recess of her womanhood. It wouldn't be long now before she reached her climax, she was sure, and it felt like the right time to join their minds. Locating Ben in the force became more instant every time she did it, and it was so much more exciting now that she _wanted him to be in her head._

Before she was even sure they were bonded, Ben let out a long, deep groan into her mouth.

_This is what you're doing to me. I want to feel you… She hesitated, wondering whether she should be careful of what she wished for. Inside. Rey couldn't help but open her eyes to see what his reaction had been. Her suspicions were correct. _

His eyes were wide with interest.

_Are you sure? He asked through the bond, unwilling to part their mouths unnecessarily. She nodded._

Rey noticed that since she had connected them his stroke felt a lot less blind; it had become more direct, hitting the sweet spot every time now instead of occasionally gliding across it, confirming for her that he could feel the effects of his own touch. Rey thought of this as good training, and wondered how anybody ever learned to get it right when they were so unfamiliar with what the other person felt.

_Okay. _

Rey's whole body clenched at the sensation of being opened with his finger. She now understood her body's natural reaction to arousal, the moisture between her legs making the process a pleasurable one indeed.

_Tell me if you want me to stop. _

_Don't you dare, projected Rey, nuzzling her face into his wet neck. _

He pushed further, gently, clearly feeling what he was doing to her in his mind. She squeezed her legs tighter about his waist as he made it as far as his second knuckle.

_I'm taking you to the bank. _

_What? Why? _

_I want to see. _

Rey's heart began to thump in a panic as he turned back towards their clothes, removing himself from inside. She didn't want it to end, and it felt suspiciously close to ending as they approached the edge of the water.

_We're not done yet._

Rey leaned back to try and figure out his plans.

_Put your hands on my shoulders. _

She willingly obliged. His hands moved up to her waist, gripping her tightly.

_Okay let go with your legs and tense! _

_Wha—? _

Rey's body automatically complied as she felt herself being thrust upwards out of the water. He had lifted her like a child and plopped her onto the bank, her bum hitting the soft grass, her feet still dangling in.

She felt exposed, but relished the fact that she now towered over him, which allowed her to take in his whole body. The blue water came up to just below his navel, the hair there now clinging to his glistening body. His lower obliques jutted out from the surface but she could still see the rest of him, distorted by the ripples from her swinging feet. He took one in his hand beneath the water to stop it, lifting it up slightly, caressing the sole with his fingers. She jerked with laughter, but quickly realised he wasn't trying to tickle her. His face had gone all _Kylo again, and the entire image standing before her caused her jaw to go slack._

Ben stepped forwards between her knees and placed his arms on the grass, encircling her legs which she had shuffled wider to allow him nearer, his hands overlapping across her lower back where his thumbs stroked the dimples at its base. His mouth was in line with the arch of her ribs just below her breasts, and he kissed her there. The heat of his face pushing against this soft, cool flesh of her middle was wonderful. He was making her feel wanted, maybe even a little _needed, and to Rey this was something entirely new. Something she realised she needed from him. Rey felt that if he went away now she would be hopeless. Broken in two. _

Rey's hands went into Ben's hair. He tipped back his head and looked into the glittering eyes set into the silhouette of this goddess. The sun beat down around her, a slight breeze was drying the long hair which ran in a stream down her back, and no other sight had ever filled him with such ease. His chest felt full of goodness for the first time, and he knew he would tear down and rebuild the galaxy for her if she wanted it.

But he was distracted now, and it wouldn't do. He had brought her to the bank for a purpose, and the need was pressing in him.

'Lean back a little,' he said, waiting until she had followed his request before further parting her knees. She propped herself back with her arms, peeking down at him with a curious eagerness as his right hand slid up the inside of her leg. His fingers stroked over her opening, then travelled upwards to lay his palm over her small mound, caressing it affectionately. Her eyes rolled at the sensation. Because Ben could feel what she felt, his movements were all to the purpose of pleasure and hit the mark every time. He revelled in the fact that he could explore her body — the most beautiful body he had ever witnessed — and also feel her pleasure as he went.

Going back to his original intention, he slid his index and forefinger down the centre and found where he had left off beneath the water. It was less daunting now that he could see the terrain he explored, and he confidently parted her lips to reveal the pink flash of her womanhood. In this position, him still standing in the spring, Rey perched on the grassy bank, she was presented to him like dinner, like he was about to sit down to a banquet but didn't know where to start. He was feeling greedy.

His fingertips hovered again at the opening of Rey. Seeing a droplet of water roll down her abdomen and into the inner crease of her leg, he could not resist catching it with his tongue, bringing down his mouth in a rush to the soft area at the edge of her small mound. His face pushed so close to this intimate place caused Rey to gasp aloud, which turned into a moan as he exhaled into her. He began easing his way into her now, sliding against the slick entrance with his middle finger. At first he didn't think it would fit as he held her open with his other hand, but continuing slowly to avoid hurting her, he managed to fit it in and move around. Their fortunate connection allowed him to feel what felt good, what felt not so good, and he found that facing his palm upwards and stroking the ribbed front wall sent busts of pleasure through them both.

He rested his head on her thigh, lazily watching his finger slide in and out, becoming wetter with every deeper insertion. He pressed his idle palm onto her mound and massaged it gently, moving the whole area inside and out until the pressure built to an excruciating level.

'Ben—' Rey gasped, looking as if she were in pain. 'Ben I think I'm going to— oh no— Ben, stoh—!'

Experiencing exactly the same sensation she was, he knew what was running through her mind. She thought she was going to pee. Her pleasure, however, was too intense to just put a stop to it, and Ben needed to see what would happen when she reached her climax. Moving his head away and standing upright he continued to shake her soft flesh with one hand while feeding her hungry opening with the other.

'Aahh!'

The pressure in her vulva forced him to pull out his fingers, while maintaining his quick side to side motion on her lips. A fountain of almost clear fluid came rushing out of her, which felt absolutely delicious both between her legs and hot across his chest. This hadn't been the climax, however, he could tell. There was still a building sensation, hot in her core. Realising she was about to tip over into oblivion he slowed his motions into three, four… _five firm presses of his palm against her soft lips where they met to protect that oh-so-delicate point, and teased out a stream of convulsions from the vision laid out before him. His knees shook with hers. It was bizarre. Convinced he must surely have exploded into the spring he looked down to find nothing but his erection which desperately raged out of the water, bursting at the tip to be thrust inside of Rey. _

'Are you good?' he laughed, stroking up her thigh to rest his hand on her stomach, trying to hold himself.

She laid there with her eyes closed, panting, squirming against the grass. She had dropped down onto her elbows and was grasping a tuft at her side.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered, dropping onto her back and flinging an arm across her eyes.

'Hey, for what?' said Ben, concerned he had upset her somehow.

'For when I… I can't _believe I— did I pee on you?' _

Ben couldn't hold in his laughter which cascaded out of him in a deep, boyish sound, causing Rey to lift her arm to peek at him in wonder.

'Sorry, sorry! Hey, come here,' he said, grabbing both of her hands and pulling her back up towards him. His hands went to her sides again and pulled her down off the bank and into his arms. He then lowered them both into the water.

Rey buried her face into his neck in embarrassment, still sensitive after her orgasm.

'You definitely _didn't pee on me, Rey, I think it was perhaps just a build-up of excitement. It was nice… I wouldn't be angry if it happened again,' he whispered the last part in her ear, hoping it made her feel better. _

At this she pulled back and stared into his face.

He smiled, bashful, looking down at their chests which were again pressed flush together. He looked back up and her eyes were still fixed on his, illuminated a golden green by the water's reflections which shimmered across her freckles. She had since broken the bond, so Ben couldn't tell what she was thinking, which killed him. But not for long.

'I'm glad I waited,' she said.

'For what?'

'For you to turn. I'm glad I didn't take your hand after you killed Snoke. It wouldn't have been like this'.

Ben pondered on this for a moment. That crucial day had spun around in his head for the past year, torn him apart. He was still the same person really, only the parasite had finally been pulled from his mind by the efforts of his mother and Rey.

'You mean you considered it?'

She hesitated. 'Yes'.

Ben's stomach lurched. 'But your friends—'

'Our bond can be very persuasive'. She didn't break her gaze as he might have expected her to, but grew more intense, almost like a challenge. 'But I was terrified'.

'Of losing everything?'

'Of letting you close to me. Of what would have happened after everybody was gone, when we were left alone'.

'Oh'. Ben's brain was ticking away trying to make sense of this… confession?

Reading the confusion in his face, she knew what he must be thinking. 'It's not that I wanted my friends — for everybody to die— of course, that was the main reason I had to leave you after the explosion. I was convinced that if I joined you I could turn your head, bring you back to the light on my own. What stopped me from falling into your arms was the fear of giving myself to you. Of what you would do to me'.

Ben watched her face and neck begin to turn pink, and finally her eyes looked away into the surrounding depths. The frown was deep set into his face as he tried to ignore the images of what he _would have done to her. Despite the fact that he was happy things turned out the way they had, and that now he was getting to know her in a much healthier, happier way, the memory that she had once been scared of him, of Kylo Ren, caused him to experience a glimmer of his past hurt._

'I would never have hurt you, even then. It wouldn't have been here, but it would have been somewhere… I hated a lot of people, was angry at a lot of things — but never at you. I will always be sorry for the pain I caused you for so long'.

Rey kissed him now. Not in the soft, desperate way she had earlier, but in a way which told him that he should now be the one to let old things die.

_I'm not frightened of Ben Solo. He felt her smile into his mouth._

_There's still time._

Rey kissed Ben until her lips were sore, until the sun began to disappear behind the trees. After they both washed he had lifted her out of the spring and laid her to dry on the grass, where they remained talking together until late in the afternoon. Ben's rumbling stomach reminded them they needed to get back, and as they both pulled their boots on, Rey experienced another pleasant first.

'So I was thinking,' Ben began, focusing hard on straightening the legs of his trousers, 'about the celebration this evening'.

Rey watched him as she fastened her belt, hating that her time getting lost with him was over for now. 'Are you nervous?'

He looked up in surprise. 'Nervous? No,' he chuckled. 'Well, maybe a little. I was wondering if you'd like to go with me—'

'Of course I'm going with you, I'm starving,' she laughed, wondering what was going through his mind. 'Or did Leia uninvite me so I could have more time alone?'

He joined in with her laughter, but his perplexion was obvious. 'I meant… would you like to go _together?'_

Rey couldn't disguise her confusion.

Unable to fiddle any longer with his clothes, Ben stood, casting a towering shadow over her frowning face. She stood too. 'I assumed we would go together. Why would we—'

'Like a date,' he blurted.

'A date?'

'It's okay if you don't want to—'

'Ben, I have no idea what you're talking about. Why wouldn't I want to go and eat with you? What do you mean by date?'

'You've never heard of "going on a date" before?'

'Should I have?' Rey was intrigued, and somewhat amused by his frustration. 'Tell me'.

Something along the lines of sympathy crossed his face, but it was quickly replaced with a grin. 'A date can mean a few things. Such as— when two people like each other and go somewhere to get to know each other. Or if they already know each other and just want to go somewhere and have a good time together'.

Rey thought about it. 'So was this a date?'

'No, that was me stalking you through the woods. Now I'm asking you to attend a formal event with me… as my date'.

'So _I'm the date?' _

'Let's walk and talk,' Ben suggested.

Rey grabbed her bag and the pair set off towards the Resistance camp, leaving her spring echoing with the day's intimacy, laughter, and life stories. Ben tried his best to carefully explain his intentions in asking her to be his date for the evening on their walk back. Rey agreed to go on this date, despite not fully understanding the significance of the word.


End file.
